Are you jealous?

Hi folks, let me introduce myself. I am a 19 year old at school. I am totally addicted to Pinkvilla like many.

I thought of sharing my views on this forum as i felt i could get honest feedback and suggestions.

My problem: I am a very average looking girl. I am average at studies. Pretty average at everything except sports i guess. I have a neighbor and we grew up together. She is friggin gorgeous. Since childhood, we went to the same school, traveled together etc etc. It so happened that she had all the guys attention in school, in our neighborhood and pretty much everywhere. To top it she is good at studies too.

I am ashamed to admit i am very jealous of her. Very very jealous. This makes me sometimes do wrong things like bitch about her behind her back. I know, i know its bad, but i do. Its all because of jealousy.

My question is , do you girls ever feel jealous of other girls?. Is this normal and how do you girls deal with it?


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kittymia's picture

It is perfectly normal to feel jealous specially if you are friends with somebody who is beautiful, but you have to remember one thing, that is, you have to love yourself no matter what. Just because she is good looking and she is getting all the attention doesn't necessarily means all good. You might not be as good looking as she is, but you might be beautiful for someone special. Don't put yourself down because she is better than you. I am sure you have something that is more beautiful than her looks try to find that within yourself.

Anonymous's picture

simple:apply more make-up. opt for surgery if you can afford it.

Anonymous's picture

i want be hand some
sent me apink

Anonymous's picture

Imperfection is Beauty!
Its the inner beauty that really matters..
nd evry girl is beautiful in the world...god created evry one beautiful in their own way...
its just that you have to start believing in urself!..nd remember confidence is ur makeup ;)

feeling jealous is natural...easy girl

if u dont feel jealous, then sumthin is wrong wid u...so chill

nd walk heads up when ur wid dat friend ..believe in urself! :D

Anonymous's picture

Confidence trumps beauty. So if you can be confident in who you are (you may not be the most beautiful woman in the world but I'm sure you are pretty; most girls are they just don't know it cause they are too busy comparing themselves to others) then others, boys and girls, will like you. Others will believe what you want them to believe. If you show confidence in yourself, then everyone will think you are beautiful. If you sit there, comparing yourself to your neighbour, or to some friend, or to Aishwarya or Deepika or Sonam, then you will only get depressed. Get off your back, take sometime to look good. Put on a nice dress, some makeup, some heels and most importantly a better attitude.

Anonymous's picture

hi gurl!i think that being jealous is normal.you shud not worry about it!rather you shud study hard and get good grades.think yourself beautiful from inside.and believe me it will work.also start grooming yourself, in the sense that wear nice clothes,good make-up etc and surely you vl look pretty!many people are average looking but they make their personalities so attractive that they look good.so dont worry about this matter and dont get jealous of your friend cuz ultimately you vl be at the suffering end, not her.stay happy=) hope your next post is about how you dealt with this matter succesfully:-) take care.

Anonymous's picture

OKAY...let me tell ya everybody is jealous even I am sometimes ,but you just have to handle it!okay?its very hard for the 1. time,but after its only EASY,BREEZY,BEAUTIFUL COVERGIRL! :)
IM ALSO A GIRL SO I HAVE EXPERIENCE.... :) GOOD LUCK

HOW TO HANDLE IT?
I DONT KNOW ABOUT YOU ,BUT FOR ME IT WORKS IF I JUST THINK THAT I AM BETTER..... :)

Zen rockstar's picture

Hey u wht u r the cutest girl in the world u r so cute .

Anonymous's picture

was the photo of this kid used with her/her permission..??
you can't be the poster...

Anonymous's picture

yes it s very normal ,esp for girls when u r going thru a low phase in life, confidence wise. The best solution is try to excel in something new n also try to be away from her n join a new group or change the school too.This will help u in getting some peace of mind. Insecurity is the root of jealousy, so improve ur confidence.I have been thru this n its hateful. Hope u feel better in no time.But its so gr8 of u to realise it, that shows u r nt a bad person .

Anonymous's picture

being jealous is a common especially for girls never do wrong things at back n dont lose ur fri'ship try to learn from her in studies beauty is gifted bu god never predict beauty is ur life..

Anonymous's picture

dont worry,u are only jealous of ur friend who outshines u in everything
but dont say things about people behind their backs ,
mot pinkvilla users are jealous of people whom theyve never met in their lives,and most of them are older than u

Anonymous's picture

i guess i m like u very much...i m too jealous of girls who are good looking,have great personality,excellent at studies...and also of those girls who enjoy their life without any constraint or are successful in life....i guess it happens only when u r not confident abt urself and also not confident of ur actions...people who are low in confidence are victims of this disease...we need to really work on this to mould ourself to reflect confidence in ourself and in our actions...then only we can overcome this problem..so don be disheartened and lets try to become an optimistic person

Anonymous's picture

I admire your honesty, to me that is a very BEAUTIFUL trait. We are all imperfect. Either in our actions, our looks, our personalities...the point is to see that perfect is unattainable. Even your favorite Bollywood stars are imperfect and will age. The majority of guys are attracting to a "type" of girl. Your gf probably fits into that "type". But you don't want a guy from a "majority" anyways. All guys have different tastes, and trust me, someone will not find you average at all but very sexy. If you have and "average" attitude then no one will want to go with you! Be proud of who you are! Work with what you have--wear clothes that flatter your figure, colors that brighten your complexion, and simple makeup to highlight the beauty on your face.

Trust me, a good guy will think you are extra sexy and a positive attitude will only work it more for you girl!

Anonymous's picture

Hay @ Iamjealous

you should never feel that you are any less than someone else, that way you will always feel confident and happy and excel in everything. believe, i used to think like y someone is wearing better clothes than me, richer, or better than me in studies.
but all that is changed now, because i believe in this world in order to excel in life, you should have competition with yourself only, not others and put your time to better use like treating yourself with good things and being thankful for what you are given. I am sure there is someone always looking up to you and saying oh she is better than me in everything, so never feel that you are any less than others.

Sara

dilaram's picture

by the way the eyes are scary

dilaram's picture

being jealous is a normal thing dont get overhyped. just remain confident. if u think u r the best and u look great. it does nt matter what others think about u. donot think yourself as a normal person it might be that what u have she does not own it. it will be your quality only if u recognize it. do not underestimate yourself ever. its the big mistake one makes in his/her life.

Anonymous's picture

never ever am i jealous maybe because i get compliments myself but i dont wanna sound like im cocky, but anyways. i too criticize other girls and definitely not out of jealousy for example people make comments on pinkvilla abt actresses it doesnt mean every girl on pinkvilla is jealous... plus its natural no one is perfect and always content with themselves. and sometimes jealous comments are true! like i really feel half the "actors" in the industry do not act at all and shouldn't even be called actors, but its just my opinion some people feel katrina, deepika are master actors i think they are masters at making people fools. (id love to learn their secret)

Anonymous's picture

There is this girl I've met and see on Facebook. She is gorgeous and comes from a very rich family. She's also goes to a good university(but she seems to have more fun there than study). I used to be insanely jealous of her because she's traveled to so many different places, stays at the best hotels and wears fantastic clothes (I've been jealous of other girls like her in the past). Now that I'm older and in college, I realize that things are best enjoyed when you work hard for it. She's always gotten everything handed to her, and she'll never get to experience the satisfaction of obtaining something through hard work. Her whole life is just traveling, having fun and doing photoshoots. Everything is just TOO perfect for her. She has no meaning in her life. I live with a single working mother and two sisters. Our life isn't exactly easy, but we still get so much out of it. I feel as though I've grown so much and even though I'm not rich, I still have so many opportunities ahead of me. I'm so thankful to God that he's given me this life, because I feel as though I can become very strong with it.

So now, I'm not jealous of that girl at all anymore and you ,"IamJealous", shouldn't be jealous of that other girl, either. Instead of bringing that girl down and talking behind her back, why don't you make yourself better? If you're average in looks, go to the gym, get a new style, learn some handy makeup tips. If you're average in your studies, STUDY HARDER! Be the best you can possibly be and get the most out of life. Spend your time volunteering and doing community service if you have to. Get more social! Once you start making yourself a better person, you will see that jealousy is a completely unecessary feeling. Focus on yourself rather than others, because being mean to others won't make you any better (watch the movie "Mean Girls" if you really want to see an example).

Anonymous's picture

its very normal but you thinking you are less preety than her and not that good in studies -need to change. self confidence is very important. u are who u are. beauty is defined differently in every part of the world. so don't ever think that you are not as good as her. since she gets the attention she has that self confidence but you have to build it for your self and trust me it will happen :)

Anonymous's picture

I feel jealousy is a wasted emotion and I do not think it is normal. I think you should focus on yourself instead of comparing yourself to your best friend. Trust me there is always someone prettier, smarter, richer etc. Never compare yourself with anyone. I doubt your are average looking, work with what you have...don't be so critical of yourself.
When I was younger I experienced jealousy from friends (both as a child and as a teen), they did what you are doing to your friend (talked about me behind my back etc). This really hurt me because I was always there for them in high school helping them out at school etc. When you think badly for someone you are only hurting yourself in the end.
Being pretty and smart does not shield you from heartbreak and life's difficulties, we all have our own lessons in life.
I also appreciate your honesty and I apologize if my opinions came out as sounding overly critical.

Anonymous's picture

I feel jealousy is a wasted emotion and I do not think it is normal. I think you should focus on yourself instead of comparing yourself to your best friend. Trust me there is always someone prettier, smarter, richer etc. Never compare yourself with anyone. I doubt your are average looking, work with what you have...don't be so critical of yourself.
When I was younger I experienced jealousy from friends (both as a child and as a teen), they did what you are doing to your friend (talked about me behind my back etc). This really hurt me because I was always there for them in high school helping them out at school etc. When you think badly for someone you are only hurting yourself in the end.
Being pretty and smart does not shield you from heartbreak and life's difficulties, we all have our own lessons in life.
I also appreciate your honesty and I apologize if my opinions came out as sounding overly critical.

Green's picture

Jealousy is human nature, not just in women, in men and children too - I studied Psychology in college. I am glad you realize that you are jealous of this girl; most girls deny it or are just ignorant. I agree with the previous comments, it gets better - much better - with age. I used to be jealous of one girl in 7th and 8th grade. This girl had everything - looks, brains, and she was nice to me too...haha. But I couldn't help myself, she was better than me in every way. And then, I grew out of it. I started to realize that God gave me looks too, and brains (or else I'd be a failure in this world). Think of all the people who have disabilities; women missing eyes and limbs; women whose faces are ruined by acid attacks; when you think of these things, trust me, you'll feel thankful for the way you are. And to help it, I had amazing friends, an amazing family, and guess what - I got attention from boys. If it weren't for my looks, than for my personality.
Jealousy is very normal, just try and not go overboard. To help your jealousy, try to think nice thoughts about her. I mean, she is your friend; has she done anything to hurt you intentionally? And no matter how average-looking you may be - boys will like you, there is no denying that!!

Green's picture

Jealousy is human nature, not just in women, in men and children too - I studied Psychology in college. I am glad you realize that you are jealous of this girl; most girls deny it or are just ignorant. I agree with the previous comments, it gets better - much better - with age. I used to be jealous of one girl in 7th and 8th grade. This girl had everything - looks, brains, and she was nice to me too...haha. But I couldn't help myself, she was better than me in every way. And then, I grew out of it. I started to realize that God gave me looks too, and brains (or else I'd be a failure in this world). Think of all the people who have disabilities; women missing eyes and limbs; women whose faces are ruined by acid attacks; when you think of these things, trust me, you'll feel thankful for the way you are. And to help it, I had amazing friends, an amazing family, and guess what - I got attention from boys. If it weren't for my looks, than for my personality.
Jealousy is very normal, just try and not go overboard. To help your jealousy, try to think nice thoughts about her. I mean, she is your friend; has she done anything to hurt you intentionally? And no matter how average-looking you may be - boys will like you, there is no denying that!!

BlackMagicAficionado's picture

Iamjealous, it happens at times with people, especially at an age like yours. You will forget about such mere things as you grow, I do not mean to say that you are immature though. As you grow you will realize that there are a lot of people who are rich, gorgeous or have special talents, we just learn to find the meaning of our life and the way through it as we develop as an individual and then such things don't really matter. Just a matter of time. You will one day be happy for what you are.

Anonymous's picture

=) that comes free with female genes i guess.. but then again.. being attractive is not about having a good height,figure or skin.. its about your attitude.. ! Dont show that u are jealous.. just show off that you are proud to be you and ur unique ! =) others will be jealous of u !

Anonymous's picture

Don’t try to compare your life with her. Two people cannot have same life. Find something you are good at and focus on that. You will see there are lots of girls good looking or very good at something. It seems like you need another best friend or friend. You need to take your focus off her and on you. Always remember we choose our friends. Jealousy will only make you a bad person and you don’t seem like that girl. So in the end I will only tell you to make new friends. You will soon forget about her.

Anonymous's picture

if u get jelous of ur friends then u do not have a true friendship full stop

Anonymous's picture

Don’t try to compare your life with her. Two people cannot have same life. Find something you are good at and focus on that. You will see there are lots of girls good looking or very good at something. It seems like you need another best friend or friend. You need to take your focus off her and on you. Always remember we choose our friends. Jealousy will only make you a bad person and you don’t seem like that girl. So in the end I will only tell you to make new friends. You will soon forget about her.

Anonymous's picture

Awwwhh Jaanu...Your envious, which is ok...atleast your brave to admit it!!!!

You should be proud that your are able to recognize a flow, which makes your far more superior than anyone who isn't able too!!!

I am sure you are above average and I am sure alot girls will read your comment and think very highly of you...in order to control that emotion, you should turn that negative feeling into a positive one and see the good in that person and imbide their virtues!!

You are an individual, you have to be thankfull for what you have and try not to swell on what you don't have!!! Becuase one is able to achieve anything if they want it badly!!!

Lots of kisses

Laara

xx

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