PollShould Sanjay Dutt be pardoned?
Yes
59%
No
41%
Total votes: 398
Top Movies
Who's onlineThere are currently 39 users and 4300 guests online.
|
My experience with racism in India and USA
 This is w.r.t this post calling Americans racist. I wanted to share with you my experiences on racism. From the day i was born, my mom tried different oils, lotions to change my skin color. Everyone ridiculed my mom for giving birth to a dark girl. Everyone told her it would be difficult to find a groom for her as she is very dark. This would trouble my mom and she tried everything to change my skin color. I was born intelligent. I topped most of the competitions at school. I was a good orator. When i was in my 4th grade, my teacher told me she could not give me the role of cinderalla for our school day function as i was dark and they wanted a fair skinned girl. They chose a fair cinderalla over me who could not even deliver her lines. I went home heartbroken. The next year i was chosen for a dance performance for a school show. One of the teachers asked me to not stand in the front row as i was dark and they wanted pretty girls in the front. I was asked to move back. Imagine what a 5th grader would have gone through. Anyways as i turned into a teenager, my confidence was at rock bottom. I was dark you see. That is like almost the end of the world you see. I tried all sorts of things only to realize nothing in this world can change your skin color. I kind of got used to people calling me dark. At 20 i got admission at a very prestigious university in US for higher studies. I landed here. Out in US, not one single day was i told i was dark. Everyone around me were so appreciative of my other skills apart from my skin color. I met a very handsome guy whom i started dating. My confidence slowly built up thanks to this guy . I am soon going to marry him. In US I was never told a single day by anyone that i was dark. Infact a white girls came to me and once complimented me for my healthy skin. I am not making this up BTW. The reason i wrote this was because i saw so many comments here saying Americans are racist. Hell no. We Indians are the most racist people in the world, we dont realize it. In US there are laws against racism. In India there is not one single law that will protect a dark skinned girl from being ridiculed. It is just accepted as being OK to say you are dark. So people before you comment saying she is dark and ugly- think of what you will be doing to the 100s of girls in india who are dark skinned. You will be shattering their egos, bruising their self confidence and they will be scarred for life. Today I work as a developer at google . I consider myself beautiful and am very confident. It took me years to realize that self-confidence comes from within.
|
Post new comment
Sure there are people for whom complexion is everything. But blaming entire nation is not appropriate. I am Indian, have many friends dark/light..I don't choose anyone based on skin and am not afraid to voice my opinion on those who do..But there is no reason to blame the entire race when what we experienced is based on a sample..
People in our (most south east asian) cultures need to know that women are not only about being pretty, not every girl needs to be beautiful on the outside. It's more than that, some girls are pretty, some are talented, some are smart...I have been a very light skinned girl all my life used to get showered with compliments when it was cool to be fair and now that suddenly they realised it's cool to be tanned people sort of try to bring me down I don't care dark or light it's me!
I am glad you posted this. I am also glad that you are happy with yourself now.
In India, I am from the East, but brought up in the south. I had people who generalized by character based on often mis-informed notions they had. I moved to USA when I was 25 for grad school. I have been subject to racist comments (not for my skin color, but for being an Indian) by many people in USA too. But at the same time, some of my best friends are from South India, and USA. My ethnicity doesn't matter to them. I tan very easily in sun, and my roommates in USA thought that I was so lucky to tan! I am dating an American. It doesn't bother either of our immediate families, but lot of my friends have voiced "concern" about it (Americans don't have family value; they are not helpful, etc.).
The point I am trying to make here is that racism of any type is Universal. In a perfect world, there'll be no discrimination. But we don't live in a perfect world.
It was unfortunate for you that your mother too thought that being dark complexioned is bad. My grandmother too had thought so about my mother, and I can empathisize to an extent with you. I suppose I was lucky that my parents are more open minded.
So, before anyone tries to blame a whole group of people for being racist, it might be useful to understand that racism (and xenophobia) is Universal. But there are people everywhere too, who wouldn't care where you are from.
i'm one year younger than my sister and she is fairer than me (by a good amt) and when she went to india for her med studies and i met her there she got so agitated and frustrated about the color discrimination (there are fairer girls than her in india and they keep talking of beauty unlike in the middle east) that one day when i came to her college to hand her her lunch she was intent on throwing me out so no one would see me and she be ashamed about me. and few days back she had openly criticised my complexion and scathingly remarked about my looks. and this came from the sister who i grew up with and had defended me thru out school. wen the world criticises; you can forgive and also forget, but wen ur own family does that.... it changes you in every way possible..
good for you that you could get yourself over and above the racism people show and discriminate dark skinned people with. unfortunately, as you yourself must realise it is a tough life for a dark skinned girl out there.. she needs to excel at something to cover up her 'so called flaws' where as a white skinned girl does not need such trophies to be accepted. i know it sounds lame, but not everyone is so interested in studies and getting good grades.. they want to have it a little relaxed and will study for general knowledge. some dark skinned people don't want to work very hard to be accepted, but if they don't do so.. they are considered a failure in every aspect of life, whereas a fair girl can be chilled out abt her education and everyone's like 'she's fair, studies come later' like wateva!! it's a little unfair and such people feel miserable whole lives.. achieving gr8 things in life is not every1s cup of tea.. i have studied and given my best many times, but i feel like i'm not very talented to be there and it's pressure that forces me to become sum1 gr8.. i don't enjoy wat i do but i have to do it, coz i need to excel sumwhere since i'm dark skinned..
That was very interesting to read.Never knew that the fair skin complexion was such a big deal in India.I am from Greece...So we have the opposite situation here...cause olive skin is a big deal here.As you know Greeks are mostly white complexion or maybe slightly olive...but the whole population is so crazy about tanning.Olive skin is considered to be more sexy and exotic.The Greeks spend so much time on beaches under the sun that rarely someone would see white complexion especially during summer....I have very white skin so sometimes people were like " ohhh you're so white...get a tan" like it was a crime to be white.As a result i started to tan during summers....sometimes i got burned....but after few years i decided not to do it to myself anymore!!! Cause i was damaging my skin and what it's better to look exotic or to be healthy??So i chose health....and i don't care what other people will say....i like my white skin and i won't be running to beaches just to get the tan and look the way other people want me to look.As i advice my friends to love their white skin...so i advice everyone in India to love yours...plz.....appreciate your natural skin even if it's dark or white or whatever!! And more important if you see more of these incidents like the girl described....don't shut....speak loud and then maybe something will change for better in your society...cause if someone of the teachers had spoken against that racist teacher...something would be changed in that school...then in that neighborhood....then in that region...then in that city....and then in the country.....
I am an Advocate.I live in US and often visit India. Trust me Indians are not so different from amarican people. Black people are treated equally bad in some parts of both the countries. That dose not give us a right to blame the enitre contry for it. Threre are laws in india protecting people against not only against color discrimination but also race,gender,religion,language and cast. however most laws are complicated and people are not aware of them. In most of the cases i came across, its the rich discriminating poor for one reason or another.
Unfortunately there are no laws protecting POOR people against it in any country.hence we should understand that its a global problem and not restricted to any single country.
india is a messed up place. and I myself am indian...so that says alot. Its also scary that people who really should be steering people away from colour complexes(the movie stars, etc) are exactly the ones reinforcing it.
Only because of tight laws i suppose you didnt face any problem..its easy to talk nonsense about india and indians..
Irrespective of the country every individual wants to look beautiful.
Dark skinned ppl try to get fair and fair skinned try to get tan..
I too faced discriminations bcoz of beauty,intligence, economy and many other stuffs...but i never felt low and blamed the whole country..
Just 1 should be strong willed... if u get confidence from the society around you ..u'll lose confidence when the people around u change
My last say is stop judging the society and be urself...make sure that confidence comes from within and not from the crowd outside..
Hi friend,I'm from India,Kerala to be exact and I felt so sad reading about this.Indians are philistines dear,Narrow minded especially I gotta point out the North Indians and Punjabis.I selected a dark girl as my friend,she is very dark,I'm white(can't say pure white,but still close to light brown)...She is so beautiful but my friends were acting like weird when I showed her photo to them.They didn't said anything though,but my North Indian idiotic friends asked me "Why did you selected a black girl" and I asked them what's the big problem,she is beautiful!...Anyway its okay..Now you are a software Engineer in google and you rock.
Thu, 2011-03-10 14:25 — Anonymous
--> that is probably one of the most ignorant comments ever. The entire India ranging from Kashmir to Kerela has people with dark hair (brunettes). none of us have the flaxen golden hair of the Nordes. does this make us less fit and therefore we need to be treated badly???
this LOVELY young lady is talking about being beautiful and yet feeling invisible simply because her the melanin count of her complexion. if you hold melnanin counts as so important, guess the entire India including our top stars like Aish, Kar, Kat, Deeps, Pri who do have dark hair (which is also due to the melnanin count) are 'less important' than the naturally lighter golden-tressed stars out in the West.
stfu 2 anonymouses below
hey there, Thu, 2011-03-10 14:25 — Anonymous
Survival of the fittest-- mean and ignorance is OUT.
A world where people accept each other based on all colors, shapes and sizes is what tomorrow holds. looks like you yourself found yourself at the end of the un-fittest spectrum.
survival of the fittest guys. being dark is like being fat or being short. just like you werent given the part of cinderella because you're dark, a girl with a fat face wouldnt have been given the part either. get over it.
Sun, 2011-02-20 04:15 — Anonymous
Hopefully you will see yourself as lovely, because you are .
=> you're right about Bollywood. more than just bleaching cream endorsements, it's the fact that there are NO.. not even one.. truly dark heros and heroines of color in Bollywood. Where do we see a lovely Adavasi type pure deep chocolate dark beauty of color? We have at most Bips and Pri who are pancake lightened on the films-- and played villian and vamp roles in the start of their career. that's about all, and it's not enough.
oh no, we can't have positive role models of all colors in Bollywood-- and it has hurt our society a lot in color equality. we still associate fair with good and pure.
"and whenever there would something wrong that happened they would make it in such a way that it acceptable to pick on somebody dark skinned" --> you experienced racism in its worst form (it's always the darker people who do crimes, etc.). Hope you rise out of it.. sorry to hear of it.
Very well said darl.. strangely dark skinned men do not suffer as much as dark skinned girl... I am not indian but I do have indian background. I left Mauritius a while ago as well. I was told I have nice features but I should out of the sun because more4 sun would make it hard for me to get married! Other girls who are fair were given this superior status and whenever there would something wrong that happened they would make it in such a way that it acceptable to pick on somebody dark skinned. Here in Australia, one of colleagues said to me, "guys must be drooping on you, tanned skin, shiny hair and nice body..." I was amused at first because he is known to be upfront then It hit me that many other people thought that I was a good looking person who has much more to offer than a skin color, pointy nose, long hair et etc etc ...
The other thing is that the film industry and so called role models do not help either by endorsing bleaching creams out there!
I am so sorry what you went through this,as a child. Thank you for sharing with us your story. God Bless you.
Wow, nice I know it well that the Americans respect the talent of a person and that is what has made them always sit on the top. I believe even we Indians are too going ahead and may be some day we'd be something like them, "completely Open Minded"
!!! Hello there, lovely person,
Please talk to that teacher. The teacher is a symbol of society there...
She may be shocked and even sad that she hurt you. She was probably just mechanically selecting people based on her cultural programming--- and never thought she would cause anyone pain. But imagine the pain of all the girls standing at the end. Or.. you could have imagined this- she may have wanted short girls in the front. Or there may have been other girls in the back row who felt no pain at being in the back.. people react differently-- maybe they just felt taller. Anyhow, you seem convinced she 'victimized' you.. so you need to sort it out.
Bet if you talk to her, she'll realize it.. and in fact, go on to appreciate new types of beauty. She may go onto empower others differently, just so long as she realizes there is a problem. And this one teacher, in fact, represents the entire society. If she does not, she's not worth your time and pain. In this end, only YOU and only YOU can give yourself power to feel happy or sad-- whether you are white, black, brown, tall, short, purple or green. That's a very strong statement-- think about it.
Good Luck!
well, try to marry into a white family who doesn't want their son dating Indians.. then you'll see -- rejection is universal. if they meet and talk to you, they'll be nice and sweet-- dating their family is a different story. not making labels, there are wonderful familes who have accepted Indians and people of all colors as their in-laws too... Yet, your broad judements is a bit too much: maybe you just went there to the States and work and have not made close friendships, etc. in work , there are laws and people behave kindly and professionally. however, if you worked in India, it's doubtful that in the office scene, people would comment on your color.
people are people.. sometimes society pushes people a certain way (as in India). In the U.S., girls feel other pressures (size discrimation). so, in the end, there are good and bad in everyone all around the globe .
and by the way, you have practiced 'colorism' yourself!:
"One of the teachers asked me to not stand in the front row as i was dark and they wanted pretty girls in the front "-->
first you say you were pushed to the back because you were dark and she was fair.. and now you're calling her pretty because she's fair. there you go, you yourself are associating fair with pretty.... but you expect others not to.
see.. it's the society and sometimes you yourself may have 'discriminated' by thinking someone dark was automatically ugly and someone fair is automatically 'pretty'. so stop being so judgemental and realize you're part of the people playing a role. if you accepted yourself as pretty, then their opinions would never count. who cares about that teacher.. she never had the intelligence to think outside of her box. but then did you as an adult? or did it take moving to a new nation to finally think outside of the box? once again, you let society think for you. in fact, we all do.
Not blaming you-- you were a kid. it's all of us. Just trying to show you that if you lived in India, you would probably still associate dark with ugly and fair with pretty. It took moving to a new place and location to re-learn new rules. we all are seeking OUTSIDE APPROVAL for self-worth. it will lead to pain in the end, all the time. what next?.. when you become wrinkled.. and face ageism in the States (where they mainly value youth), you will plunge into a depression and self-hate again!
self-acceptance and self-love is peace! best of luck to you. you did suffer a lot and came out of it. but the answer is within you that YOU ARE LOVELY!! It's not in someone's compliment.
blame society, Bollywood only reflects and is supported by society
That word, "racism" in a realm outside the United States or other immigrant countries is difficult to define. I understand your point in saying that Americans are not particularly racist.
America is a country of immigrants with a diverse group of races from all over the world. Europeans, Chinese, Native Americans, Latinos, African Americans, Arabs, Malays, Indians. When there is discrimination amongst these races, then there is racism.
But you cannot say that Indians are "racist" because that is one race. Regardless if they are Hindi, Telugu, etc. I think the word you are trying to say is that in India, people are discriminatory. Indians practice "colorism".
Easy. Blame Bollwood.
I am an Indian guy with tan skin (according to the indiandating.com website) who has lived in the US since my late teens. And this article's highlights parallel my experience with discrimination that I have come across primarily through attempting to find love amongst Indian girls in the US. In short, the fairer girls have a condescending attitude while the darker skinned ones have very low self esteem. So much so that I completely stopped taking an interest in Indian girls.
Everyone on Earth is special and has a unique path all their own. Everyone has a UNIQUE potential. Everyone deserves an education to accomplish this. This is regardless of race, gender, height, religion, national-orgin, color and money-status. Regardless of what we find beautiful or ugly (certain color, size, shape, etc.), if we switch from exterior-worth to interior-worth, we will value each other from the heart.
Just be good and do good to all. This is a global mission around the world. Peace.
Hello, Tue, 2010-12-14 05:32 — Anonymous: I like handsome people but I do not make it the basis upon which I decide to help someone out with their homework or allow them to use my skybox.
==> You make good points.
one thing : what do you define 'handsome ' by. do you have a melanin meter?
one of the things is the new generation no longer defines labels by melanin count or frankly any physical definitions. you may have your own version of handsome (tall & fair & red hair & greek-type nose) and someone else may have their own version of handsome (tall & dark & black hair & ski-slope nose). somone else may even find short guys handsome! all are valid. one person's handsome is another person's non-handsome . (( same with female beauty)).
so it's preferences, not labels. that is moving away from the racism/labelling aspects of beauty. the youth no longer wants media brainwashing labels-- they want to think ON THEIR OWN AND FORM THEIR OWN TRUE VIEW OF BEAUTY.
so it's more than just discrimination-- it is active work in getting rid of negating labels and thinking for oneself!
The problem lies not in preferring one to the other but in the INSTITUTIONALISATION of that preference where it hampers your career prospects, how strangers treat you when you are getting a service. That is racism, when my preference becomes an institution. I like handsome people but I do not make it the basis upon which I decide to help someone out with their homework or allow them to use my skybox.
It is so ridiculous how even dark people hold up a standard that is unattainable except by winning what they see as the genetic lottery. What percentage of people in India actually look like Ash Rai? Even her parents look like normal Indian folks, no white skin or green eyes. If you don't have it, you don't have it. It is not because you were so special or bright that God decided to give you your skin. So stupid. I really do feel sorry for people who are told till the day they die that they are not good enough BECAUSE of a stupid thing like skin color which you have NO control over anymore than Rai, Zinta, Kapoor or anyone else.
Although it's regarded as a movie for Black females, I recommend seeing "For Colored Girls" at the movies. There are things that all girls (yes including White) around the world can relate to.
Fri, 2010-10-22 06:20 — Anonymous -> you are lovely, believe it !:)
smile at someone and experience that beauty.
i had the same problem.
i used to cry everyday in my bed because i'm not pretty. but ive accepted that now