My experience with racism in India and USA

Its a nice post darknlovely....very true.Indians are racist the biggest ones in the world. Why else do you think fairness creams sell like hot cakes in this market? Every international brand has come up with their set of fairness creams with Big celebs endorsing it.

But I think the change is happening atleast in the urban society...slowly..we are still struggling to free ourself from blind beliefs/superstitions...and trying to be more accepting and open minded.Maybe our future generations will be better off...Hopefully!

God made man and female in his own image. That is what beauty is not color of skin. God Bless

@@ Things I have heard in private white people gathering: (these are NOT my opinion)

1) all Indian guys are ugly, Indian accent is horrible and should be accompanied by subtitle
2)chinese can not drive, all chinese people need nose jobs and eye jobs!!!
3)Asians are getting richer than white people, Asians don't deserve it and should go back to their backward countries
4)One should do everything in one's power to not let black people move into their fancy neighborhood, otherwise the value of the place goes down.
5) They move their kids to 'whiter' schools if there are too many minority children(like black, hispanic etc etc) in their kids' school.
6) All non-whites should leave America and go back

and many other quotes which I have no patience to quote here.
But they won't DARE to say such things in public, not in New York area at least.

Acceptance or diversity multiculralism its an act they want to make it seem like that, then when immigrants come to canada they are used as laborers, even qualified indians are forced to work as taxi drivers. The only successful indians in CANADA are the ones who kiss ass to the whites, and act "white". and TRUST me there are soooooo many white washed indians around me. they have been promoted live in fancy houses etc because they kiss major asss......I have personally handed mithais at my workplace for diwali and two white la
I live in CANADA, and i have heard these same things being said! Supposedly a place where we have adies came and took some took one small bite infront of me and said oh wow thank you!....then when i turned around....the mithais landed in the garbage. this is also wat they think of indians.... I think if you beat the dark skin complex..and push thru take your education and knowledge back to india and support your own people you are better off. I would much rather support indians in india......and die on my motherland where people are not FAKE.

Wed, 2010-07-21 22:51 — art_lover ==:> Darknlovely's problems are INCREDIBLY REAL. don't mean to negate her feelings at all. she is beautiful and it's wonderful she is happy. yes, there are ppl who are going to pretend color-pecking and discrimation does not exist in India,, but due to the white-colonial invasion, so many have suffered!

but please stop making this to a whose racisism was worse!:

if a NRI child faces racism, it's still hurtful to them. they have no clue about leaving the land. in fact, knowing what happend to our friend's child made us start the movement of color acceptance for desis...:

some NRIS do leave their country for good.
how can you judge innocent children who are born in a different country who were thrown rocks on a daily basis (yes, we know on friend's child who was), bullied, 100% friendless (no Indians back then..), teacher's ignored them... and made to feel low for their skin color -- as they can just leave the country? its' their country, their homeland- they dont know about their origin-land, they are kids. and in fact, they get so ashamed, they don't tell anyone till there are bruises and ppl ask questions. the self-esteem they face is so rock-bottom for years to adulthood. going to school and talking did not help.. please don't negate this either. because we used this experience to also help those of darker color in India.

igorance is ignorance and it has to be banned everywhere.

I am sorry for whatever you went through in India.. I just wanted to hug you and tell you, you are very beautiful soul to open this ugly reality for us.. I know we all Indians are guilty oif this crime..
somewhere we have major ground work to do to change this for coming generations.. How about you do something in your capacity to change lives for few dark skinned small gals growing up in India..

I will do my share for sure..

ria

being non indian i love India, but single thing that makes me angry is about indian's obsession on white skin, what a rubbish, i love indinas becouse they are not lke us white skinned, and i thin the mass culture like bollywood films should give an example to people no to be obsessed on white skin.
I love Deepika and Sonam and now sonakshi, but especially deepika, because she became famous with her Indian look and Indian skin, and really do not want to watch movie were the heroine are chosen because of their white skin, which is (sorry my language i use) but very stupid one.

I consider myself beautiful and am very confident. It took me years to realize that self-confidence comes from within - these are golden words from you, i am European, with white skin and i really appreciate the girls like you.

Hello Darknlovely,

Good for you that things work out gr8 for you. Best of luck, Google is great.. and on your engagement!
Yes, your words will make a difference, every little drop does!
Yes, culture does change-- people are programmable. India already is starting to change in the last 2 years on the color movement (ever so slowly)...

Look at America. When racism of immigration happened in the 70's to early 80's and many colors came in, the kids were cruel in the classroom same as there. People were cruel.. there were no laws. it was viscious for kids of color to sit alone and face that. but ppl noticed a problem-- & they 'fixed it' (working on fixing it too..), and now it's blossomed to the next generation. kids shows (i.e Sasame Street showed characters of different colors and cultures). Teachers were given culture lessons and taught kids to inter-mix and learned and appreciate the 'rainbow culture' at an early age. Human resources specialized in diversity. The media too stepped in and added beauties of all colors and races as heros/heroines and stopped negati've sterotypes of races/colors. It was a JOINT society movement. the elders did not change much... but the youth picked it up (who were fresh from no negative imprints). so it's not like America or India is less or more racist (human nature will act the way they are programmed since childhood... it's that America acts FAST, accepts issues and changes. that is great and that's something the world can learn... ).

what does this mean of the new 'culture color acceprance' taught at a young age? young children (who are VERY programmable) were nearly 'born' with acceptance, and there you are, seeing the beautiful fruits of it in beautiful California. had the same people in India grown up in this environment, they too would have acted the same. YOu can see ppl who grow up in restrictive households (i.e Mel Gibson) still hold into intolerance and barriers, including Americans.

if you get your story out to as much in the media there, as well as Bollywood, you can perhaps get the POWERFUL Indian media to change. it will help the new generation. whatever, you wrote here.. just send a letter to producers there in Bollywood, schoools. write to them... just one drop makes a LOT OF DIFFERENCE>

best wishes!!

Dear Darknlovely, I am glad that things worked out just fine in the US. You deserve it and more. It is very true that color discrimination is rampant in India and it is really very strange given that fifty percent or more of Indians are dark skinned. There has been a slight change in this tendency in the recent years, but it will be many many more years before our silly Indian people will rule this discrimination out. Nice post.

these things happen in America too, ignorance sadly is universal...:
http://www.contracostatimes.com/california/ci_15563313

Wed, 2010-07-21 05:30 — Anonymous: there are rotten vile criminals in every country . putting a blanket statement on that won't help.

DarknLovely:
the same ppl in California who are kind and loving to you, Darknlovely.. there may have acted very different had the 60's revolution never happened. the fact that you (Darknlovely) are pretty may make you more acceptable to Americans.. and that's wonderful that beauty has open the door for you. but what about the homely dark minorities who are still dateless and termed a nerd there?

and the same people who acted ignorance and ignored your beauty in India might have been the most amazing open people in India-- had the color acceptance happened in society from their childhood. bottom line is most people are products of their culture. please try to understand the difference between being a criminal, having stark deep hate, and doing thing out of plain rotten ignorance (product of your culture).

Is there a color discrimination problem and are dark people suffering in India?--> A BIG YES, JUST LIKE AMERICA HAD IN THE 60'S. can it change.. yes.

Is there problems in America too (perhaps not 'advanced California', but yes). yes:
http://www.contracostatimes.com/california/ci_15563313

A group of 11 current and former black employees of Southern California Edison filed a lawsuit against the utility giant, alleging a pattern of racial discrimination against them.

OP, I think you are confused between racism and inferiority complex. Indians suffer from an inferiority complex (i.e. want to be as westernized as they can be), but that doesn't necessarily mean they are racist. While your experience is saddening, it would be inaccurate to say that Americans are not racist because as someone pointed out, inequity manifests itself in other aspects of life in America, such as skewed media coverage of minorities (blacks, Muslims, Catholics), glass ceiling for women, etc.

Hi darknlovely,
Thank you, for opening up your life and heart out to us. Congratulations on reaching where you are in life based on your own efforts and considering what you've been through, I'm very happy for you!
I am sorry that you were discriminated in India- your home country- on the basis of your skin color. More disturbing is the fact that your color is the predominant color of Indians and thus in a way makes you a majority of sort. It's really very hard for me to even imagine a situation where a child is being told to move at the back of a line or not given a role in a play because of their skin color. To suffer such grave discrimination at such a young age can easily take a toll on a child's self esteem and self worth, and kudos for you for emerging a winner at the end.
While I do sympathize (and to an extent empathize) with you, I cannot agree with you when you label your experiences as being a product of racism. Racism is primarily discriminating against someone based on their race and religion. Your situation would fall into discrimination, based on looks. Much like "gudgal" described below it's something that is as prevalent in India, as it is in the States. Indians in general seem to prefer lighter skin, it is a standard of beauty imposed on all Indians that we're supposed to be fitting in order to be considered attractive. Maybe its roots are in racism, you might argue this whole fair skin ='s beauty idea got perpetuated by the British during colonial times. But in the present times when someone tells someone they're dark and thus not beautiful, it's because of the current standard of beauty NOT because they are discriminating against them based on race or religion.
I live in the States, and while I haven't personally experienced any discrimination, I have heard horror stories about racism and discrimination based on looks. In America, women get discriminated too often based on size (oh too anorexic looking/whale), skin color (she needs a tan!/ just yesterday on Tyra there was a 9 year old black girl who wanted to be lighter skinned), height, facial features etc.
Here's what you can do. Share your story, it's a story of empowerment and overcoming obstacles. Learn that your self worth is not defined by your looks (your story seems to indirectly imply that you found your boyfriend because you weren't being perceived as being unattractive anymore, I doubt that is the case, I am sure there were a LOT of other things he liked/loves about you). Stop calling women out in general for being too fat, thin, dark, or what ever reason in real life.
As far as celebrities go, they get paid for their looks, and I personally believe as long as you're not being too offensive, you have the right to comment on their looks.
Just remember almost everyone has been discriminated in some or the other way in life. Just be a good human being and stop hating on others. It's a cycle- break out of it. And you can start by realizing that the people that ill treated you weren't racists, but a bunch of highly ignorant pricks.

@2010-07-20 22:25

No I am not white looking at all, my color matches that of Neha Dhupia, but I have very refined features with no visible flaws and good height, and I try to dress well, I think all those Long Island housewives compare themselves to me and find that they are really not better than me in any department. I am sorry to say, but most of them are quite fat and dripping with big diamonds and riding fancy cars, but always complaining about life, about husbands, friends etc. So a general dissatisfaction with life ! I don't complain, at least not to them, and they say how cool and confident I am. I know they must be talking sh*t about me behind my back, but they suck up to me in my presence. I guess its like a psychological dominance, if you are better dressed, better looking, strong personality they treat you with difference and respect.

Anyhow, but in public they are very tolerant and picture of politeness.

Things I have heard in private white people gathering: (these are NOT my opinion)

1) all Indian guys are ugly, Indian accent is horrible and should be accompanied by subtitle
2)chinese can not drive, all chinese people need nose jobs and eye jobs!!!
3)Asians are getting richer than white people, Asians don't deserve it and should go back to their backward countries
4)One should do everything in one's power to not let black people move into their fancy neighborhood, otherwise the value of the place goes down.
5) They move their kids to 'whiter' schools if there are too many minority children(like black, hispanic etc etc) in their kids' school.
6) All non-whites should leave America and go back

and many other quotes which I have no patience to quote here.
But they won't DARE to say such things in public, not in New York area at least.

Darknlovely, cheers to you for bringing a very real problem out in the open. Unfortunately the color issue is an negative sterotype 'wrong programming' in society. however, is it really stark vile hateful racism??

you should also consider that you have immigrated in a state and time that is very very open and loving.
we had friends who lived in a U.S. town (now they moved) that was more un-open that had some kkk members. they went through some nightmare really racist things.. and we don't wish that on anyone. there are still groups that want the demise of people based on the color alone. are dark people in India subjected to violence and groups plotting to get rid of them based on their melanin count? no. it is a bad cultural sterotype called ignorance which makes some (or many) stupid people think dark is bad (and some rotten ones react on that)--yes. America before the 60's felt the same way of negative color-sterotying before they learned.. so will India. The 60's had the 'black is beautiful movement'. however, it would be helpful if the word 'racist' and 'racism' for an entire group of people be used with care. there are racial statements or people may make racist remarks, true.. esp in India-- but not often done out of ugly evil hate, but utter igorance.

There is a fine line between being Racist and ignorant...It is unfair to put blame on a country or a certain majority. It boils down to peoples perceptions and ignorance. I apprieciate it is difficult especially when your loved one taunt you, but just feel blessed that you are breathing and are in good health. All this talk about your externel body/beauty seems meaningless when inside you KNOW you have a beautiful soul. Each of you are blessed with a unique face, personality and body, if you learn to accept it, others will. Love yourself and appreciate yourself, try your best to disregard all the negative comments made by people and even your loved ones. Change your frame of mind and let the negative comments filter though and store the positives within you, even if it comes from yourself! You have one life, do NOT let anyone dictate or put you down!!!

Lots of love always

Laara