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My fiancee has cancer and is pushing me away...What to do?Wed, 2011-05-25 05:27 — MeeshoMy fiancee n I hav been together for 4 years, lot of ups n downs, but we love each others madly. we planned to get married this year. Unfortunately, he has been diagnosed with lukemia stage 1 a week ago. Since then he is pushing me away and keeps sayign hurtful things to me, this situation is taking a toll on me...i am Feeling really down. What makes it worst, is that he stopped takign his medications, doesnt want to follow his treatement, i talked with his doctor n she said that it can be cured , but he doesnt want to listen... What to do to conveince him to start his treatement?, m really down... Thank you so Much Meesho 
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be calm and away from him for short period of time. His purpose seems not to hurt you and spoil your life as well.
So finding you live your own he may start his treatment. Then slowly you can approach him. ( Mean while be in touch of his doctor without his knowledge)
my dad is always pushing us away in general for everything .. he is the srict one ..but maybe I have a feeling that ur fiancee is actually scared & is going in denial .. he doesn't want to take treatments because he doesn't want to believe he has it. I don't know really why he would push you away & not take treatment I'm just guessing but maybe he doesn't want to make you get to atttched to him .. because of a fear he might lose you ( i know that is something not nice to say but this could be a reason). just tell him theres' hope & if he wants to get better , tell him how much you love him hug him .
Tell him that taking the medication will not only save himself
but everyone else who loves him. And its only the first stage
survival is almost guaranteed. Be supportive and tell him how important
he is to u
It will sound strange....and maybe you won't like what i will tell you but the only way to make him realize is to tell him to stop being so egoist.....!! Tell him that his life is not only about himself....it's about his family....his friends....it's about you!!! Tell him had he ever imagined that you all will do if you will lose him one day...what his family will do...what you will do.....tell him that he mustn't do that harm to all of you!! Because it will hurt you all very much....Tell him that he must fight for his life....and you will fight with him side by side!! I'm afraid the only way to make him wake up is to shock him a little bit with your words....i know it's hard but you must wake up a warrior inside him...it's the only way to make him fight for his life.......he must realize that he will survive only if he will give a chance to himself to survive.
i am so sorry to hear that, but i will be praying for him. if it's stage one then there is a REALLY good chance he will be cured. the thing about cancer is you shouldn't give up physically and especially not mentally. it takes a toll on you. tell him what you two had planned for, how you wish to grow old together.
support him and be by his side all the time. don't make his realize that he has cancer. keep him happy and BE STRONG!! good luck wish he gets better soon :)
Meesho, I understand that both you and your fiancee are going through terrible amount of stress now. From what you have said, I feel that your fiancee is not yet out of the shock that one gets when such supposedly "grave diseases" are revealed to the patient. Having been with him for four years, I would assume that you are the closest to his heart,on this earth. Hence it is but natural that he tries to push you away,because he does not want life to be unfair on you. So,here we have to deal with two issues. Firstly, to make him understand the gravity of the disease and need for treatment. Facts related to Leukemia, details regarding the treatment, evidence for chances of cure for Stage 1 etc need to be explained to him by someone who has the necessary knowledge, who is credible and whom your fiancée looks up to. This could be your fiancee's doctor(if he has the time) /a clinical psychologist/ respectable religious heads (if he is a staunch believer)/ palliative care experts / an educated relative or friend who has seen a patient fight out cancer at close distance. It generally does not work when people who love him the most,try to explain such logical reasoning with evidence,because the patient invariably tends to think that you coerce him into taking treatment,only because you love him; and not because you know it can be cured. Hence please hire out some time from someone who is willing to help, and get them to talk to him. Once he agrees to his treatment, half your problem is solved. Then the other half of the problem will automatically get solved. If he goes through the treatment with confidence and hope, he will definitely love to have your support; and I assume you would love that too. And then,both of you can face the rest of your life bravely. This is my advice to you. Please do the needful, before it is too late.
Im really sorry to hear about your fiance, Hope he gets better with blessing of GOD ameen
first of all, dont feel symapthy, just act that everything is fine and take worries out of his mind,, by telling him that you love him, wil do anything to make him feel better and get him back to normal,. its isn't fair for you to feel left out...
also tell him that you will support him by his side no matter what happen
so be strong, and do what you can make him feel strong and brave ..
let hope he listens to you :)... GOOD LUCK
its at a very early stage so there is a high chance of recovery!! have him meet people that have recovered and encourage him to take his meds and he'll be fine too!! just support him and give him hope!
i know this is a difficult situation but just remind him how much his family and you love him and want to see him get better!!
i hope he recovers very soon!! all the best!
@ meesho - very sad to hear that and may God make things better asap.
However, the first thing that went through my mind is that your fiancée is hiding something from you. You guyz have been together for 4 years which is a good amount of time to know some1 well. He maybe knows something you don't and is trying to protect you from it instead of discussing it.
I politely suggest that you sit down with him and have a heart to heart.
Wish you the very best.
P.S hope others are of more help to you.
if it's stage 1, he has a pretty high chance of recovery, but if he's purposefully not taking medication, then he's basically trying to kill himself. tell him dying with cancer is a horrible thing as i volunteered in oncolgy ward i know how painful it is, so simply take him to an oncology ward in your hospital. he's lucky to be diagnosed at such an early stage. you don't have to feel guilty and feel sympathy for him bc what he's doing is really immature and kiddish.