Dear Ranbir-Anushka, We Accept Your 'Bloody' Challenge!

In an interview today, when our writer Urvi Parikh quoted your sister Kareena Kapoor Khan's remark - "Ranbir reads Pinkvilla five times a day", never in our wildest dreams were we expecting a response as bizarre as yours and Anushka's. You challenged us to post this video. Here we are - Challenge accepted.

You see, we love challenges, even the threatening ones. Just like we shook our legs to Kar Gayi Chull on Karan Johar's request, we are more than happy to oblige even this time.  

But not without having made our point and exposing how you two are absorbing all the vices of stardom unthinkingly. Guys, you asked us to rise above reporting 'shit', we ask you to rise above hypocrisy.

Let's go in flashback a few years. Ranbir, you had once famously said "80% rumours are true." Here's the video:

Yet, you are incorrigible enough to go back on your words. You told us, we carry 'shit' 95% of the times and then politely brought it down to a measly 80% (oh-so-gracious of you Dear Lord). We wish you had specified the 'shit' we carry. May be you are referring to your birthday article - 'From a towel dancing amateur to a rockstar expression King: Ranbir's acting evolution decoded' or Anushka's birthday article 'How Anushka Sharma Carved a Niche for herself in Bollywood or all the anniversaries of your film we promote!'

Oh No! Let me guess. Are you referring to a certain blind item we carried a couple of days ago that didn't even name you? Aww, are you confirming it was about you? (your publicist certainly thought so) Too bad, we already have the dirty details which we watered down enough for public consumption. 

Now let's reflect on the gyaan you gave about responsible journalism. As reporters, we do follow rules. Let me cite an instance to you. A source, very close to a top actress had told us and other industry insiders about her liaison with you. While others carried it without reaching out, we did drop a message. Ranbir, do you remember your reply? Let's refresh your rusted memory a bit - "Hey Urvi, so good to hear from you. GET A LIFE." Didn't it make our morning? Oh yeah, it definitely did. However, we refrained from carrying anything on that widely reported fling of yours. WE HAVE A LIFE. Conceit doesn't make you cool. 

And that brings us to a very vital aspect of your behaviour. As you advice us on learning responsible journalism because of our reach, we advice you to learn some manners, because you are a superstar. Cocking your middle finger at the paparazzi is not normal and how dare do you even have the audacity to confiscate cameras of videographers! Get a hold over your temper; you need to rise above your blue-blooded arrogance. 

We do know our jobs but probably you need to hear a bit about it too. As a policy, we as a publication, refuse to take down a single article from our site. You are, however, free to give us a counter quote which we have repeatedly conveyed to your PRs. One negative story, sometimes a blind item too, and your entire team comes at us with full force as if they need to win WORLD WAR 3. We don't remember getting a positive word on anything good we write. One negative line and thousand calls come at odd hours (You can't call anyone at 3 am to pull down an article. Get some dignity and stop begging). Like you appreciate space and want to do your job without any distractions, we would like the same freedom as well and not be treated as lesser mortals. Gone are the days when stars and superstars were put on pedestals, come down to Mother Earth brother.

You cancel interviews when you are tired but do you even spare a thought for journalists who wait for three 'bloody' hours to get ten minutes of you ranting about a film we haven't even watched, barely a day before your release. So our symbiotic exercise is mutually beneficial, admit it we both need it. If you decide to not give us interviews, we are more than happy to not carry it. 

Anushka, don't feel left out. We have enough coming on you too. You aren't exactly the most honest person on this planet and you've proved it. A media organization had written about you being a part of Sultan which you'd shamelessly denied on Twitter. A few weeks later, an official confirmation of the same came from you as well as the production house and you happily posted the first image of the film on Twitter. Where was your honesty then, darling? Stand tall lady. 

And finally, you were worried about how we could publish negative news on you. OMG we already do, you said! We tried our level best to find negative stories about you on our site Anushka, too bad we couldn't. May be we did not find you relevant enough to dig deep into your closets. 

As far as your film goes, we won't mix this up with what we think of Ae Dil Hai Mushkil. Contrary to what you said, we won't write 'shit' things about your film (hope you earn praises). We report, what to the best of our knowledge, is factually correct. Don't worry this article remains independent of your film's review now and in the future. Go do a fine job at the movies and let us do a good job as well. 

Cheers,

Writers of Pinkvilla