EXCLUSIVE: Mother’s diary: Why new mothers may feel isolated? Expert REVEALS
If you have just stepped into motherhood, a strange feeling of isolation may be taking over you. Despite having your husband and his family by your side, you may feel lost, neglected, and left on your own. You may feel all the love and care is for the newborn, and nobody is bothered about you.
This might make you feel anxious and insecure about yourself, and your value in the family. You might see yourself as simply a mother to your husband’s child, and may even feel you are losing your identity.
However, Pulkit Sharma, a clinical psychologist, says that all these feelings are normal in the first few months, and will gradually settle down.
“Motherhood is a drastic change in a woman’s life. There is a rush of hormones, and all this leads to different feelings in a new mother. Also, a newborn tends to take all the limelight, and the mother may end up feeling neglected. There’s no one to be blamed here, since it’s a natural feeling, and will go away on its own in some time. It can also be attributed to postnatal depression. If such feelings persist for a long time, you may want to see a doctor,” explains Sharma.
However, there’s nothing to worry about, and a new mother shouldn’t be embarrassed about having such feelings. “It’s okay to have these feelings, but it’s not to suffer alone. Talk to your husband and family about it. Share it with your doctor. Don’t suffer in isolation, otherwise, you may get depressed,” opines Sharma.
Apart from that, Sharma says, new mothers should avoid staying alone. They should have a company by their side at all costs, preferably someone whom they trust. “Loneliness may act as a trigger for worsening of such feelings. Hence, have someone by your side. Have positive talks. Tell them how you are feeling, and what can help. The family members, too, should be more careful about the new mother. They should pamper and care for her, just like they do for the newborn. They should motivate and ensure her that she is not alone and never will be. She is just as special and dear as the baby, and in fact, even more,” advises Sharma.
Not only this but a new mother should be treated delicately and with care, at least for the next one month after delivery. “Psychological help is just as important for a new mother as a physical one. This doesn’t mean all new mothers should be taken to a psychologist, family members can act as one. It is imperative for the family members to understand the mental state of a new mother, and see how she behaves. If you see sadness, symptoms of anxiety, and find her saying that she is alone, give extra care to her. Be her therapist, and a punching bag, too, if and when necessary,” says Sharma.