EXCLUSIVE Mother's Diary: Expert tells you why new mothers should never pursue perfection
From hunting for the most comfortable diapers to buying the cutest clothes, wanting nothing but the best for their baby is the dream of every mother. New mothers, often, take this a notch higher and are always in pursuit of perfection.
They are guarding their babies all the time, and often, take the blame, if their baby is down with the seasonal flu and cold. A 15-minute break for themselves seems to be too much to ask for, and new mothers, often, feel embarrassed at the mere thought of it.
However, experts suggest, while it is normal for a new mother to angst in the initial days, rooting for perfection is not the best thing to do. Why, you ask? Pulkit Sharma, a clinical psychologist, has an answer.
“In pursuit of perfection, new mothers will often find themselves exhausted at the end of the day. While it may all sound exciting in the initial days, in the longer run, it brings nothing but disappointment and mistakes,” says Sharma.
While motherhood can be overwhelming, it is important to understand that this is a part of your life, and hence, on the way, you have to take just as much care of yourself, as you do with your baby.
“It’s okay to make a few mistakes and learn from them. Being a perfectionist is a myth. Motherhood makes you learn on the job. If you hunt for perfection you will end up making even more mistakes because of that extra pressure. Give yourself the liberty to learn and grow,” advises Sharma.
Not that, one has to be careless, and unconcerned, but too much care is of no good, too. “Caring too much will not only make you feel stressed and anxious all the time but will also affect your baby. In the end, you will find yourself irritated, stressed, and even depressed. Hence, let your baby grow as a normal human being, let him or her, adapt to situations, and take all necessary precautions but never overdo anything,” suggests Sharma.
If this is something that is not in your hands, one can even seek help from a professional. “Especially women who are first-time mothers or those who have been blessed with a baby after years of failure may suffer from this, and it is normal for them to have such feelings. But if it’s getting out of control, one should definitely consider seeking help from a professional. Apart from that, having faith in yourself and trusting your capabilities will also help,” opines Sharma.