Hello Therapist: I’m 21 & due to past events I’m afraid of opening up & expressing myself in relationships

Dr Rahul Khemani, Consultant Psychiatrist in Wockhardt Hospital, Mira Road is here to solve your anonymous doubts. Find out more
Hello Therapist: I’m 21 & due to past events I’m afraid of opening up & expressing myself in relationships
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Hello Therapist, 

I am a 21-year-old female. I've been on a lot of casual dates but never been in a serious relationship. I want to date and experience this new feeling but I am afraid that my past baggage might come in the way of it. Due to some past events (family issues, depression), I am often not able to express myself openly to the other person and feel insecure. what should I do? 

Hello Pinkvilla Reader, 

Thank you.

Our past experiences guide our present actions. We live with the ghosts of our pasts and as time moves forward give power to those emotional ghosts. Vulnerability is a two-way street, you won't know if you should trust the other person unless you trust them. You might fear the other person will judge you, or use what you tell them against you, or might reject you. You are letting these fears control your actions, and the fear comes from past experiences. If you keep feeding into these, you'll be stuck in this negative loop. Take small steps, test the waters. Relationships deepen layer by layer. Every conversation reveals something about you and the other person. You don't have to open up about your past in the first meeting itself. You don't have to open up about anything unless you want to. Take that leap of faith, and trust your judgement. I would also suggest you consult a mental health professional to put these issues to rest.

Do you have a question to ask? Email us your queries at editorial@pinkvilla.com with ‘Hello Therapist’ in the subject. Shh… don’t worry, we’ll make sure to keep everything anonymous!

Disclaimer: Hello Therapist is an infotainment feature. The information contained in these topics is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, it is provided for infotainment purposes only. By submitting your queries to Pinkvilla, you agree that we may use and edit it partially /full for clarity and ease of understanding of our readers. The advice given is not to be used as a substitute for consultation with a professional psychologist or other professional health or medical provider.

Also Read: Hello Therapist: I am married & feel guilty for getting attracted to a guy in my gym; What should I do?