Hello Therapist: I’m 60 and I like my colleague who is in her late 30s; Is this normal?; Can I ask her out?

Dr Rahul Khemani, Consultant Psychiatrist in Wockhardt Hospital, Mira Road is here to solve your anonymous relationship doubts.
Hello Therapist: I’m 60 and I like my colleague who is in her late 30s; Is this normal?; Can I ask her out?
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Hello Therapist, 

I'm a 60-year-old who has just retired from a well-earning job. I am also a widower for the past 4 years, I like my colleague but never told her who is in her late 30s. Never had the courage to ask her fearing I would be labelled a pervert. Is it normal to have such feelings and should I ask her out?

Hello Pinkvilla Reader, 

It is very normal to have such feelings and there is nothing wrong with it. Having said that, take a step back and think what is it about this girl that you like. What are the qualities that you feel attracted to? What is it you are looking for in the future? What is your intention behind telling her about your feelings? 

Sometimes, we are attracted not to the people, but some of their qualities that remind us of someone or our older selves. We often mistake the need for companionship with love or attraction. Consider for a moment that had your wife been with you, would you still have felt this way about the girl? We seek to fill the emptiness of our hearts, and it happens to the best of us. 

I also urge to reflect on your relationship with her. How much on good terms are you with her? How does she look at you- as a colleague, as a boss, like a mentor? How is she as a person? Would she understand where you are coming from, or would she escalate the situation? What is her situation- is she married or with someone? Take a step back and think of the consequences. And if you decide to do it, do it in a way that is respectful and gentlemanly to avoid any repercussions. I would also advise to take a look at the company policy. In the end, be honest in your approach.

Do you have a question to ask? Email us your queries at editorial@pinkvilla.com with ‘Hello Therapist’ in the subject. Shh… don’t worry, we’ll make sure to keep everything anonymous!

Disclaimer: Hello Therapist is an infotainment feature. The information contained in these topics is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, it is provided for infotainment purposes only. By submitting your queries to Pinkvilla, you agree that we may use and edit it partially /full for clarity and ease of understanding of our readers. The advice given is not be used as a substitute for consultation with a professional psychologist or other professional health or medical provider.

Also read: Hello Therapist: I’m 30 and my family is making me meet girls; I’m not ready for marriage, so please help

Anonymous 2 months ago

My unwanted advice is please try finding someone closer to your age .that way thoughts ideas views will connect more easily ☺️.

Anonymous 2 months ago

You are not a teenager, you have life experience. There are lot of couople with massive age difference like Catherine Zeta JOnes Michale douglas for example...30 years is bit much. YOu dotn date collegeaus usually so dont try with such a big age gap