Hello Therapist: I never figured out my girlfriend’s inclination towards the same gender; Am I a bad partner?

Dr Rahul Khemani, Consultant Psychiatrist, Wockhardt Hospital, Mira Road is here to help you solve your anonymous relationship problems.
Hello Therapist: I never figured out my girlfriend’s inclination towards same gender; Am I a bad partner?
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Hello Therapist, 

I have been in a relationship for 5 years with a girl who I met in college through a friend. Recently, I read chats of her flirting with another girl. Now, I feel not just that I have been cheated on but also feel why I was never able to figure out her inclination towards same-sex in the last 5 years. Am I a bad partner?

Hello Pinkvilla Reader, 

What is your definition of flirting? What is hers? Is it one isolated text, is it a bundle of messages, images? Is she using endearing language? Does she use it with everyone? What I'm trying to point to is sometimes we over-interpret. I'm not saying your hunch is wrong, I'm pointing to the possibility of it. Talk to her, have the conversation. Talk from a place of understanding rather than accusation. 

And let's say if she is inclined towards the same gender, would that invalidate your relationship with her? Would that mean what you had was never real? Maybe she is coming to terms with her sexuality too. We live in a world of labels, but if you read about sexuality it is not simply binary in nature. Her decisions, her actions don't define you. Her being interested in a guy or a girl or anyone else is not a reflection of your ability or your genuineness as a partner. Rather than speculating and assuming, let's have the tough conversation. The other side of it will feel better.

Do you have a question to ask? Email us your queries at editorial@pinkvilla.com with ‘Hello Therapist’ in the subject. Shh… don’t worry, we’ll make sure to keep everything anonymous!

Disclaimer: Hello Therapist is an infotainment feature. The information contained in these topics is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, it is provided for infotainment purposes only. By submitting your queries to Pinkvilla, you agree that we may use and edit it partially /full for clarity and ease of understanding of our readers. The advice given is not be used as a substitute for consultation with a professional psychologist or other professional health or medical provider.

Also Read: Hello Therapist: My husband is ADDICTED to watching girls & dirty films online; I have threatened to leave him