Hello Therapist: I work really hard but NEVER get the appreciation from my boss; Now it is making me angry

Dr Rahul Khemani, Consultant Psychiatrist in Wockhardt Hospital, Mira Road is here to solve your anonymous doubts. Find out more
Hello Therapist: I work really hard but NEVER get the appreciation from my boss; Now it is making me angry
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Hello Therapist, 

I'm 35 years old and I work really hard when it comes to my professional life. However, I never get the appreciation I deserve and that makes me feel bad. Now it's making me angry on every little thing that happens. Please guide

Hello Pinkvilla Reader,

I understand the frustration of being underappreciated at work. It can decrease your motivation and can affect your work productivity too. The anger, you have to understand, is a manifestation of hurt and pain for the rejection you have been facing. 

Next, you have to take a look at the concept of negativity bias. This bias, which is intrinsically built into the human brain, says that negative experiences are more easily remembered and perceived than positive ones. Negative stimuli cause the brain’s alarm bells to scream, whereas positive stimuli merely cause temporary satisfaction. 

Why is this important? Because humans have a tendency to remember or recall the worse of things. When you look for small victories, you force your brain to stop automatically focusing on negative stimuli. This counteracts the negativity bias and helps you be more aware of the positive things that are happening.

Apart from focusing on small victories, create goals for yourself to keep the motivation levels up. When you do this, you’re able to create internal motivation. While this can’t fully replace positive encouragement from superiors, it serves as a small consolation to keep you going during desolate times.

Recognise the significance of your work. While it’s ultimately up to your boss to convey this significance, you may have to do your own reflection if you aren’t getting any support in this area.

If you still have trouble implementing this, seek the help of a mental health professional.

Do you have a question to ask? Email us your queries at editorial@pinkvilla.com with ‘Hello Therapist’ in the subject. Shh… don’t worry, we’ll make sure to keep everything anonymous!

Disclaimer: Hello Therapist is an infotainment feature. The information contained in these topics is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, it is provided for infotainment purposes only. By submitting your queries to Pinkvilla, you agree that we may use and edit it partially /full for clarity and ease of understanding of our readers. The advice given is not be used as a substitute for consultation with a professional psychologist or other professional health or medical provider.

Also Read: Hello Therapist: I am married & feel guilty for getting attracted to a guy in my gym; What should I do?

Anonymous 1 month ago

if we like some one we become blind to their fualts if we dont like some one we become blind to their good pointsl . clearly he is blind . stop trying to impress him. he will come around your way sooner .