Hello Therapist: I'm in strained marriage & met someone on an app who knows & wants to marry me; What do I do?

Updated on Apr 23, 2021 09:54 PM IST  |  270.3K
Hello Therapist: I'm in strained marriage & met someone on an app who knows & wants to marry me; What do I do?

Hello Therapist, 

I am 33 years old and married for 10 yrs I have faced a lot of emotional, physical stress in my married life and during this period I met a couple of people just randomly through dating apps. Out of which one has recently shown interest and wants to marry me... despite knowing everything. 

Kindly help.

Dear Pinkvilla Reader, 

Am glad that you expressed your current life crisis with a professional on this platform.

Here are few points, which I may suggest you to look upto :

1) Is the stress in the current relationship (i.e. marriage) is due to problems that can be solved?

It is said wisely that - "There are only two kinds of problems; those which have solutions & the ones where nothing can be done".

So try to analyse, whether the marital stress you have been through is because of - any physical or emotional abuse, infidelity or severe addiction in your partner and so on. Such kind of behaviour is usually not acceptable in marriage and difficult to get rid of in a severely malfunctioning relationship.

Whether the stress is due to some basic issues such as - lack of intimacy and communication, trust issues, lack of time & attention for the partner - then these problems can be worked upon well with assistance from a professional.

2) Have you observed yourself with a particular (abusive) relationship pattern?

Have you been experiencing abusive relationships in the past, have you been easily manipulated by others, have you been trusting easily upon unknown persons and regretting it later.

If these are the issues, which you notice in yourself, beware - before you make a choice about your future relationship. In that case, just changing the partner, won't change core relationship patterns. You need to work upon yourself and heal thyself, before beginning a new peaceful life that you deserve.

3) Has your new relationship been built on a foundation of pity?

I make it clear...It is absolutely your choice to decide whether to continue with or get over the current marriage and, whether to consider a new relationship or not.

But, make it sure - the relationship you shall be through has a firm basis of intimacy, healthy passion & mutual commitment. If someone is feeling just sympathy for you, then better don't misunderstand this as a form of love.

Wish you good luck in figuring out the best possible outcome ahead...Take care.

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Disclaimer: Hello Therapist is an infotainment feature. The information contained in these topics is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, it is provided for infotainment purposes only. By submitting your queries to Pinkvilla, you agree that we may use and edit it partially /full for clarity and ease of understanding of our readers. The advice given is not to be used as a substitute for consultation with a professional psychologist or other professional health or medical provider.

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Anonymous : Hi sir can you forward your no please
REPLY 0 4 months ago