Hello Therapist: My friend saw my husband with another woman; Should I believe her & confront him?

We have Dr. Rahul Khemani, Consultant Psychiatrist, Wockhardt Hospital, Mira Road here to solve your anonymous relationship problems.
Hello Therapist: My friend saw my husband with another woman; Should I believe her & confront him? Hello Therapist: My friend saw my husband with another woman; Should I believe her & confront him?
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Hello Therapist,

I am a 40-year-old female and married for the last 10 years. My husband is a very loyal man and has always been a dedicated partner. My friend recently told me that he is having an affair with someone in the office. She also saw them together many times. I don’t know whether I should believe her and confront my husband. I don’t want him to think I doubt him. Please tell me what should I do?

Hello Pinkvilla Reader,

The key to any successful relationship is clear and transparent communication. 

Time doesn't define the quality of a relationship. And any relationship is subject to change and is dynamic in nature. A relationship of ten years is bound to undergo certain changes, sometimes for good and sometimes it brings out something undesirable. When we live with someone for this long, there can be a moment of boredom, of monotony. Do you think this is something that has happened in your relationship? Are you sensing some change in how you feel towards your husband, or has perhaps sensed a change in your husband's feelings? How have things been before your friend dropped a hint of the possibility of the affair? We seek out needs that remain unfulfilled outside our marriage which leads to betrayal and rejection. 

Having said this, consider circumstantial evidence too. A working person is likely to come in contact with a lot of people- some of their own gender and some of opposite gender. Is there any evidence of what your friend is saying? How does she define 'an affair'? Is having a coffee with someone an affair for her or for you? What does she exactly mean when she mentions that she has seen them together?

I would suggest that you have a discussion with your husband. Let him know what you are thinking. It doesn't have to be perceived as your mistrust, but rather your deep held fear of him considering someone else, of how much you need and care for him. 

Vulnerability is a beautiful thing if you look at it as a strength.

Do you have a question to ask? Email us your queries at editorial@pinkvilla.com with ‘Hello Therapist’ in the subject. Shh… don’t worry, we’ll make sure to keep everything anonymous!

Disclaimer: Hello Therapist is an infotainment feature. The information contained in these topics is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, it is provided for infotainment purposes only. By submitting your queries to Pinkvilla, you agree that we may use and edit it partially /full for clarity and ease of understanding of our readers. The advice given is not be used as a substitute for consultation with a professional psychologist or other professional health or medical provider.

Also Read: Hello Therapist: My husband is ADDICTED to watching girls & dirty films online; I have threatened to leave him

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Anonymous 2 weeks ago

lol at people in comments. Communication is the key like the therapist said and in desi culture that is the biggest problem. We are prone to self-denial and self-deception by sweeping everything under the carpet. Emotional constipation until it becomes chronic. Speak with your partner and discuss boundaries.

Anonymous 2 weeks ago

I strongly suggest you dont rake this topic with your husband . let it die its own death.there is nothing wrong in being very close friends with the opp gender ( which I think is the issue here ).

Anonymous 2 weeks ago

Tell the friend to get evidence... photo or video...then decide if the friend is lying or not. Act accordingly