Here’s what to do if your controlling older brother is sabotaging your love relationship
Take a look at a few ways you can deal with a situation where your older sibling is sabotaging your love relationship.
When we start a new relationship, most of us are unsure about what the future holds. Whether the partner will be faithful to you, or whether you both have the level of compatibility necessary for a long-term relationship; these matters remain yet to be investigated. However, if someone from your family finds out about your relationship prematurely, then things are fast tracked in a way that you never anticipated. If your older brother has found out about your relationship and is interfering in your dynamic with your lover, then the situation may be causing you a lot of anxiety.
So, right from establishing boundaries with a possessive sibling to understanding the motive behind their actions; take a look at a few ways you can deal with a situation where your older sibling is sabotaging your love relationship.
Try to understand where he is coming from
If you find out that your sibling has discouraged your lover from pursuing the relationship with you, you might have harsh feelings about it. Right from disbelief to downright rage, you might want to have a spat with your sibling where you reprimand them for their actions. But to begin with, you must see where they are coming from. They may want to safeguard you or consider your lover a stranger who may break your heart. They may also feel protective of you and responsible for you as your parents may be unaware of the relationship.
Don't fight too hard to conceal the relationship
When you grow up with a sibling, they are involved in every aspect of your life as you are involved in every aspect of theirs. Therefore, when you are coming of age and you start to have a crush or a relationship, they feel excluded from that experience. The more you try to conceal your relationship the more your brother may seek control over you. But they may be doing this out of protectiveness.
Your best bet is not to hide or conceal the relationship too much. The lesser the secrecy around it, the less he would try to probe you and find out more about it.
Have a heart to heart with your brother
If you feel as though they are sabotaging your relationship by reaching out to your boyfriend or girlfriend, you may want to have a heart-to-heart conversation with your brother. Talk to him about your relationship and where you see it going. If he sees that you have real feelings and that it is not a mere fling, his perspective may change.
You might also want to have a conversation about boundaries that helps him not to cross the line in future.