How to deal with the situation when your partner doesn’t want change?

Updated on Oct 08, 2020 12:19 PM IST  |  587.9K
How to deal with the situation when your partner doesn’t want change?
How to deal with the situation when your partner doesn’t want change?

In a relationship, couples often need to adjust with each other and accept certain things. But sometimes, they may need to change themselves for the sake of the bonding. And if your partner doesn’t like change at all, then you may face trouble with it.

Often partners may disagree to change even if it has a positive outcome. Then, you need to put some extra efforts to fix things. Here’s how.

What to do if your partner doesn’t want change at all?

Reasons for problems in relationship

If your partner has any bad habits or a negative side and cannot change that at all, then it creates problems like:

1.Not making time for family.

2.Emotionally abusive.

3.Spending too much money.

4.Drinking problem.

5.Not being able to continue his or her job.


How to deal with it?

You have to remember one thing that it is not possible for a person to change overnight. It takes a lot of time and you cannot change that person entirely. But you can change your response to the problems. From next time, instead of getting involved in an argument, make your partner understand, so that they come to know the seriousness of the situation and try to change.

Know yourself

Changing yourself is also possible to some extent. So, know your limits and recognise yourself. Ask yourself for how long you will be able to stay calm when nothing changes. If needed, go for therapy or counselling.


How to handle difficult conversations?

Before therapy, it’s always advisable to have a one-to-one conversation with your partner to raise the issues that they cannot change at all. Remember these pointers while conversing with your partner:

1.Be warm and gentle and not confrontational.

2.Always choose a time to talk when neither of you are tired and in a bad mood.

3.Clarify how the problem is affecting the relationship.

4.Don’t give lectures and stay focused on the topic only.

5.Express your expectations, i.e. what do you want and what makes you happy.


Also Read: Hello Therapist: My boyfriend is possessive; Meets his female friends but can't accept me with my male friends