Love Matters: 4 Ways black and white thinking can hurt your relationship

Here are 4 ways that thinking in black and white might damage your relationship.

Updated on Jul 21, 2022   |  10:13 PM IST  |  427.5K
black and white thinking
Love Matters: 4 Ways black and white thinking can hurt your relationship

Because you constantly fluctuate between "right" and "wrong," "good" and "bad," thinking in black and white might be harmful for your romantic relationships. Simply stated, this way of thinking is known as "either-or" or dichotomous thinking. For instance, a person who exhibits black-and-white thinking may assume that a relationship is either going great or terrible. The individual will always have extreme thoughts. The recurrent cycles of emotional turmoil that come with someone who thinks in polarities can make relationships with them particularly challenging.

Here we bring you 4 ways in how black and white thinking can ruin your relationship.

1. You’ll have irrational expectations

People who think in black and white often have unreasonable expectations from their partners. All of their requirements should be met by their partners. Unrealistic expectations in a partnership frequently lead to discomfort, disputes, and disarray. Unrealistic expectations could even lead to strict rules or restrictions on one another's freedom.

2. Make you think poorly of your relationship

You may begin to show signs of being overly negative with your partner if you spend too much time focusing on the negative. You can start to view your partner negatively if they fall short of your all-or-nothing standards if they don't succeed in being flawless. If you constantly criticize your partner's actions and do so because of inflated expectations, you can wind up hurting them or driving them away.

3. Your partner will feel questioned

They know that if they do something that deviates from what you consider to be "good" or "bad," you will have already formed an opinion about them before they get a chance to discuss it with you. We feel as though we've been stabbed when the person we love continuously criticizes us. It is cruel and unforgiving. Our partner's criticism can come out as harsh judgement. And when you constantly criticize your partner, you take away all opportunities for them to be transparent, believe you, or be vulnerable—all of which are necessary in a loving relationship.

4. You can decide on the relationship impulsively

The strength of your connections in life depends greatly on your capacity to control your impulses. After one argument or one poor day, you might classify the relationship as a brittle failure to your black-and-white thinking. Additionally, when there are significant imbalances, particularly in the form of personal treatment, relationships typically suffer. This may cause you to act impulsively when otherwise the relationship would have worked out if you had learned to deal with conflict.

Thinking in extremes might lead to black-and-white thinking. Even though it happens occasionally, having a tendency to think in paradoxes can be destructive to your work, relationships, and wellbeing.

ALSO READ:  Tips for addressing expectations in friendship

About The Author
Aastha Pahadia
Aastha Pahadia
Certified Relationship Coach


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