What are the implications of a divorce and how does it impact children? Know from an expert

Updated on Jul 31, 2021 10:53 AM IST  |  151.6K
What are the implications of a divorce and how does it impact children? Know from the experts

In lieu of the recent split-up of actor Aamir Khan and Kiran Rao after 15 years of married life, we got in touch with a psychologist to shed some light on how divorce should be treated and the need to normalise it.

Mrs Shaili Mehta, a psychologist, spoke to us in brief about how divorce may impact the couple individually, implications on life post-divorce, impact on children, coping mechanisms and why it is important to normalise divorce.

Every relationship has its time to bloom but is also liable for a downfall. Divorce is viewed with a very negative mindset in the society we live in, it is considered taboo and we need to be more open and accepting about the idea of separation and divorce.

If two people are in a relationship like marriage it is completely their personal choice whether to continue that relationship or end it. We as a society cannot decide or have a judgement. If two people are not happy together it is best that they live happily by parting ways because forcing yourself to be in a place only makes one feel suffocated and leads to a negative impact in all realms of life. Marriage connects every member of the family but the two individuals are owners of that relationship. Hence, ending it should be completely their choice.

Divorce impacts both individuals in a couple but the bottom line is to be happy and hence, leading yourself to be happy is a better option than suffocating in negativity.

Post a divorce there can be many unanticipated changes, however, these are the changes required for a better adjusted life and hence, it is best to face them with courage than fearing them.

Many realms can change post-divorce in terms of family, friend circle, children, relatives and societal judgements that follow. However, reassurance works the best here which is to recall the right reasons for separation and not being under the guilt for making that choice.

Divorce impacts children both directly and indirectly. It makes them live either with one of the parents or keep switching between the two. This can be disturbing both physically as well as emotionally, it might make them feel unwanted or abandoned. Talking to them about it, addressing their fears, making them a part of the process can be very helpful in dealing with their difficult emotions.

Divorce is as life changing as marriage or any other relationship engagement and hence it has to be processed equally on an emotional level. Acceptance of the end of a relationship is very important because it gives us a reason to move on in life. Living in denial or pretending like nothing has happened only hinders the process of dealing with negative emotions. It is best to live in the present, accept the change and be assured that it is for the best.

Society is still lagging behind to be open and ready to accept this ideology but change begins from within and we have to be convinced that it is a personal choice. Societal judgements do not get to decide how we live as that would act as a roadblock to being happy and making the right choice.

About the author: Mrs Shaili Mehta Sonani, In-house Psychologist at Veda Rehab and Wellness.

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