What is gaslighting in a relationship? Here are 8 signs to know you are being gaslighted and how to stop it

Being a victim to gaslighting is a serious concern as there it leads to mental and emotional imbalances. Gaslighting is when your feelings get dismissed by your partner, you feel neglected and manipulated. Your partner will try to manipulate your emotions by forcing you to question your own thoughts and feelings. Your partner will tend to discard your feelings by calling them as petty or trivial. This could lead to toxicity and negativity in your relationship creating serious mental issues for you.

It is a common phenomenon in a relationship and it can happen to anyone. It is a form of emotional and psychological abuse wherein a person manipulates their partner into believing that they are illogical and their ideas are negligible. Gaslighting is a strategic move to destroy one’s self worth and confidence. 

Here are some warning signs that you need to look out for if you want to know if you are being gaslighted in a relationship.

You are always the one apologising

Gaslighters have a way of turning things upside down and making you the victim in every situation. Whenever you have a fight, somehow it is always your fault and you end up apologising just to not make things worse between you two. The entire blame shifts on you through rational thinking and your partner will try to prove it to you that you were being illogical and irrational. 

They play with your insecurities

Your partner will recognise your insecurities and turn them against you. If you threaten them that they might leave you, they will blackmail you by saying things that you are most insecure about or by demeaning you. They will keep you vulnerable so that you do not have the courage to leave them.

You start doubting yourself 

One of the important things to notice is observing your own behaviour around them and see if you are feeling low. Gaslighters will prey on your vulnerabilities and insecurities and they will turn it against you making you doubt your own capabilities. They will fool you into thinking that you not worthy enough for anyone and that you don’t matter. The moment you start doubting your own intentions, there could be something wrong that needs your attention.

You feel dismissed and neglected

If your partner starts neglecting your feelings and emotions, there are possibilities that you are being gaslighted for real. It could be your opinion, feelings, emotions and ideas that are being dismantled by your partner by discarding them as irrational, illogical or stupid.

Constant feeling of negativity

If you are having feelings of negativity towards your partner and relationship then it could be a concern. Your relationship is supposed to be a happy and safe place for you and not the other way round. If there are having constant feelings of negativity, self doubt, fights and heated arguments then you need to take a step back and question everything.

Manipulation

A gaslighter will always try to manipulate your thoughts and feelings as this is what they do and this is how they try to dominate you. It gives them an immense sense of satisfaction to get what they want. It is always them vs you. If your partner does something favourable for you and in return you agree to them, it is a win win situation for them.

They discard your problems by saying ‘it’s not a big deal’

If you are caught up in an argument and your partner discards your feelings by saying it’s not a big deal and you are probably overreacting then it is time to rethink your position in this relationship and stop doubting yourself. 

They give you the ‘guilt trip’

You will find yourself confused and questioning your own thoughts and ideas. You may not even be at fault most of the times, but a gaslighter will make you feel like it was entirely your fault and give you a guilt trip for making it dramatic. 

Now that you know where the problem lies, it is time to recognise them and find a solution. There are multiple ways to deal with a gaslighter and how you can protect yourself from losing your sanity.

Here are 4 ways to deal with gaslighting and how to stop it.

Know your worth

At times, you may find yourself questioning your own worth, position and belief systems. Remember, a gaslighter will try to dismantle your fundamental thoughts and ideas and make you believe that you are wrong in this situation. Try to focus on the good part and remain calm and positive. It is always good to stand up for yourself and turn things around by earning back the respect you lost.

Have the courage to speak the truth

If are scared to speak the truth because of how they will react then get some support or advice from your friends and speak the truth. Tell them that you are not wrong and it is becoming toxic for you to be in this relationship.

Call out on their bullshit

If you catch them lying to you blatantly or manipulating you, it is time to call out on their behaviour and end this cycle once and for all. They cannot get away each time by lying to you or trying to make you feel inferior to them. 

If it gets too toxic, simply leave

Last but not the least, if nothing works and it is getting too toxic for you then all you have to do is leave. Remember, you don’t owe any explanation to anyone and if you feel disrespected then it is time for you to find someone better who will respect your decisions.

ALSO READ: Try these simple and effective ways to get over someone and move on