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Giving up on Love: Know the Reasons And Remedies
Giving up on love due to fast-paced life or heartbreak may look like an easy thing to do. But hold on, because true love can actually make you really happy.
Love is difficult to understand, and giving up on love altogether is the easier option. Loving someone is a personal choice, and people do grow apart. It doesn't imply only a romantic relationship, and love knows no bounds. But giving up in relationships is common in today’s fast-moving life. You may want to stay away from love because of a painful past. Some people want to give it up because they have very high standards in life. Others may not want to get into love as they want to focus on themselves. You may have given up on love for one or more reasons mentioned below. Keep reading to know more about the reasons why people give up on love along with the ways to bring faith back in love again.
Top 10 Reasons Why People Feel Like Giving up on Love, And What to Do About It?
1. They Do Not Want to Bear the Pain of a Heartbreak Again
Heartbreak is a real trauma that changes a person. Young love is easy to find but difficult to maintain. It is like a freshly plucked rose that looks exquisite on the dining table for a few days. But its dying process is equally sad for anyone who sees it go. Breaking up is hard and feels like you've been in a train wreck. But you are not alone. It is just about getting the right inspiration at the moment in life.
Love is a risk in which things sometimes go differently than planned. You must always prepare for the worst outcome and move forward. But life is always unplanned, and so is love.
Heartbreaks make you stronger once you sustain them. Follow the below points to get back up.
- First, allow yourself to grieve. Don't try to bottle up your emotions. It's okay to cry your eyes out and be emotionally vulnerable.
- Eating healthy is vital as your body is going through a challenging phase. Talk to a trusted friend and vent out every emotion you feel. You could listen to songs about giving up on love. You should also not compromise on sleep. A good night's rest is a sure-shot remedy for heartbreak.
- Keep the emotional trauma at bay with physical exercises so it does not start showing on your body. It was not worth your time if your love life pulled you down.
- Focus on your hobbies, and surround yourself with supportive people. This will help you be positive and be in a happy place emotionally.
2. They Are Not Ready for a Relationship
One of the major reasons why people give up on love is that they are not ready for a serious relationship. There are many reasons not to be ready for a relationship.
- You may have recently fallen out of a bad relationship and need time to heal.
- You could be hyper-focused on your career or education and need more time or energy for a relationship.
- You do not need to justify your reason to everyone except those genuinely caring for you.
If you are unsure of a relationship, don't push yourself. Staying away from the limelight has no shame and gives you time to self-reflect. This time is, to be honest with yourself and others.
Talk about your feelings rather than jumping into a relationship you're not ready for. If you pick up a new relationship too soon, you will hurt more than one person. Just remember, you are not giving up on love. It is just a matter of time.
Whatever the reason, respecting your needs and boundaries is essential. Don't let peer pressure influence you into having a partner. Rushing into things only makes matters worse.
Do the below things for yourself instead:
- Focus on your needs and self. Take this free time and take a trip with your friends and family.
- You can pick a hobby you always dreamt of pursuing.
- Take a course, upskill, or learn a new language. All these things will contribute to your personal growth as well.
- Get to know yourself better.
- Heal from past relationships. You must heal before getting into a new relationship if you've been hurt emotionally.
- Be patient. Don't pressure yourself to find a relationship soon. Sometimes good things happen to those who do not wish for them.
3. They Are Not Able to Find Their Perfect Match
Many people give up on love because they are not able to find their perfect partner. Let's be honest; perfection is relative. It means something perfect for you may be imperfect for others. Finding a partner who ticks all the boxes is indeed very hard and is like a dream for many people. No one is perfect, so instead of giving up on love because you haven’t found anyone who’s a perfect match, you can expand your social circle and try finding someone who matches the most important characteristics you want in your partner.
Don't restrict meeting people at work or the gym. Try expanding your social circle by joining clubs or groups, taking classes, or volunteering. Also, be yourself and show your confident side to the people you meet. Moreover, be positive — people are drawn to positive people, so focus on the good things in life. Our contributor Helena Roman, a relationship expert, shares an easy way to be confident when meeting new people. She says, “Confidence can start with self-love and positive expectations. Our perceptions greatly impact our reality and our outcomes, thus, can help enhance our confidence.”
4. They Do Not Want to Put in Any Effort
Relationships take time and effort. You're likely already listening to giving up on love quotes if you make no effort in the relationship. Even friends grow apart and cannot give time due to their individual lives. There are always several reasons for not making any effort in love. You may be doing things unconsciously. Maybe you've been hurt and are afraid of getting hurt again. You may need more time to make time for dating and friends. It could also happen that you are scared to take this first step.
Help yourself in this situation by following these points:
- Try and make the first move if you want unconditional love from your partner or friends. Text the people you love, be for them, and support them to show you care.
- Being patient makes all the difference. It ensures you will not fall from the rollercoaster with maximum injuries.
Remember, love is a choice. Giving up in relationships is easy, but making an effort for it is challenging. But once you decide to work for it, nothing can stop you from finding the right person for your love.
5. They Are Too Independent
A relationship survives when two people are willing to adjust, compromise, and work every day to keep the relationship happy and healthy. Many people give up on love because they are too focused on their professional lives, and enjoy being themselves. They are not ready to devote their time to a relationship and share their lives with someone. In short, they don’t want to make sacrifices a relationship needs, which is why they choose to stay single and give up on love entirely.
Giving up on love because you want to lead an independent life isn’t wrong — however, if someday you feel like you want a relationship, then don’t be afraid to get into one due to your professional life. Remember, you can always balance things out and give attention to both your personal and professional lives. When ready for a relationship, don’t let anything bother you — with an open heart, accept the love that’s coming your way.
6. They Feel They Do Not Deserve to Be Loved
Many times, people tend to give up on love because they are not happy with themselves. Giving up on love because you aren’t in a happy place might seem like the right thing to do, but it can be fixed if you work on your self-esteem. Low self-esteem is a common phenomenon, and you should not feel alone. A breakup often makes people feel inferior and unimportant.
If you're unhappy with yourself, you can listen to motivational songs, or do something that makes you feel good. But you need to narrow the problem down. You must sit still and think about what is wrong with your life. Once you know the trigger points of your low self-esteem, work on changing them. Boosting your self-esteem is not a one-day job; you must give yourself time.
- You should make changes to your post-breakup routine. Put together an exercise routine, even if it includes walking 5000 steps daily. These things will help you feel physically and mentally stronger.
- You can also focus on your strengths. What are you good at? What do you enjoy doing? List your positive qualities and read it over whenever you're feeling down.
- It's also important to surround yourself with optimistic people. People who are always negative and critical will only make you feel worse about yourself.
- Find friends who support you and make you feel good about yourself, and don't give up on love so soon.
It won't be easy, but overcoming low self-esteem and finding happiness is possible. Tell yourself that you are never giving up on love, no matter what. Keep working on yourself; eventually, you'll find someone who loves you without filters.
7. They Have Commitment Issues
People who are afraid of commitment often think about giving up on love. Maybe they’ve been hurt before and don't want to repeat that. Or maybe they are tired of being let down, and so don’t want to be in a relationship.
In many cases, people have commitment issues in general. Being in a committed relationship sounds like a jail to them where they can’t be free and lead their individual lives. Moreover, there are many people who shy away from commitment after a failed, long-term relationship. Love is very different from infatuation.
It sounds dramatic, but it's the truth. It is common to develop commitment issues after such incidents. You won't let yourself get attached to someone only to have them break your heart. It's a risk you may not be willing to take. It is common to give up on love when your previous experiences have been sour. You know that it's possible to find love without getting hurt. Some people will love you without trying to change you. But right now, you're not ready to take that risk. So take your time and get back on track when you feel right. Some ways you can overcome this feeling include:
- It's okay to be afraid of commitment. It's okay to give up on love for a while. What matters is that you focus on yourself and rethink your life choices.
- Tell yourself that one day; you might be ready to love wholeheartedly.
- Understand that until then, it's okay to be single. It's okay to be afraid. It's okay to give up.
- Focus on the long-term goal of your relationship. It will help you look at your relationship in a new light. Commitment will not seem like work anymore.
8. They Believe in Instant Gratification
You've been dating the scene for a while now, and it is starting to feel pointless. The countless dates, endless gits, and late-night messages account for nothing. You may think that love isn't for you. You're not alone; there is a long line on both sides. In today's world, instant gratification is in demand.
Everything is available at your doorstep. Food reaches your door in 30 minutes or less. New movies are available on your mobile screen within three months, and breakups happen over texts.
But love doesn't work that way. Love takes time and effort. In a world where you get everything you want immediately, these things take time. You're not alone if you're feeling discouraged. But don't give up on love in haste. Love is like a pack of cards; you must build the foundation for the tower to go higher. Love, too, needs time, and instant gratification is its enemy. You will lose sight of the result if you run after instant rewards in love.
So what must you do to make things right? Pay heed to the below points:
- Remember that some like-minded people are still looking for love out there. It may take longer to find them.
- In the meantime, take up activities that make you happy. Spend time with your friends and family. Your one true love might come face-to-face with you at the mall.
- Learn that instant gratification is short-lived and things come at their own pace.
- Talk to the elders you regard with respect. Ask them about their view on love and its complications. Their answers about never giving up on love may surprise you.
9. They Are Not Ready to Compromise
It's easier to walk away from a relationship than to try to find common ground with someone who has different values, priorities, and goals. It's easier to say, "I give up," than to keep trying to make things work when you're constantly butting heads. But giving up on love is also a lot less rewarding. Love is about two people coming together mentally.
When you compromise, you're not just giving up something for the other person, but you're also giving up something for yourself. You should do this only when you value your relationship. Compromise does not mean losing your identity or creating a false image. If someone is asking this of you, it’s time to rethink the relationship. It takes communication, understanding, and a willingness to give and take. But it's also the foundation of every successful relationship. Your compromise will show your partner that you're committed to the relationship. It also shows your willingness to make it work.
Here are some ways you can compromise in love and make your partner feel cherished:
- Compromise is not about one person always getting their way. It's about both people being willing to give up something to reach a mutually agreeable solution. Be willing to give and take to make the relationship work.
- Be respectful of your partner's needs and wants. Just because you don't agree with something your partner wants doesn't mean their needs are any less important than yours. See things from their angle and be willing to meet them halfway.
- Be open to communication. The best way to find a compromise that works for both of you is to communicate your needs and wants without hesitation. A healthy relationship has no space for judgment. Never let the fear of being judged stop you from being yourself.
- Be willing to negotiate. Sometimes, compromise means being willing to negotiate. It means being ready to meet your partner halfway.
- Sometimes, the best way to compromise is to let go of control. It means being willing to trust your partner and their judgment. It also means accepting that you might only sometimes get your way.
Being able to compromise does not reflect your weakness. It shows that you have maturity and empathy. It's a sign of strength. Putting your partner's needs first takes courage, even when sacrificing your own, and it's worth it. When you're willing to compromise, you build a stronger, more lasting relationship.
10. Their Idea of Love Is a Fairy Tale
Love is not about perfection; it's about two imperfect people coming together and creating something beautiful. It's about accepting each other's flaws. It's about working through the tough times and always returning to each other.
A fairy tale is about people who fall in love and live happily ever after. You never see them do housework or fight over groceries and the dinner menu. Real love is messy and complicated. It takes work and dedication. Receiving unconditional love is the most rewarding experience.
So instead of giving up on love because it doesn’t look like a fairy tale, try to understand what real love actually looks like. Also, remember that real love is out there, waiting for you. Just dive into it and hope it goes well.
Here are some tips for finding love:
- Be yourself. It may seem like a repetitive piece of advice, but it is the most important. The right person will appreciate you as you are.
- Be open to new experiences. Feel free to put yourself out there. It is time to meet new people.
- Be patient. Love is the first step. So don't give up on it. Keep your heart open, and you'll find it eventually.
- Be realistic. Do not expect your partner to bring the stars down for you. Some things are better in theory. You need to set realistic goals.
- Become a partner, not a liability. Nobody likes living with a damsel in distress. Make sure you develop a relationship of equals and help your partner in every task.
Conclusion
Were you about to create a giving up on love songs playlist? Don't do it. Love has a habit of finding its way back. You need to let it happen. Trying too hard or having unreasonable desires will only make things complicated. Pick the solutions given above and tread on the road to love again. Take baby steps; start by appreciating yourself. Life is not about getting things perfect. It is more about understanding others and giving them a chance. Don't give up on love easily. Stay in the game, keep calm, and let the love flow.
Contributor: Helena Roman, Relationship coach - Sage Love Advice
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