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‘Each Marriage Is Different’: Sara Evans Opens Up On Jay Barker Reconciliation; Says She Fears People Will ‘Judge’ Her
Sara Evans talks about her decision to reconcile with Jay Barker, revealing the challenges they faced, including the fear of being judged by other people. Find out what the star said in her podcast.
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Sara Evans talks about her decision to reconcile with Jay Barker after seperation
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The duo got married on a Tennessee farm in 2008
In a heartfelt conversation, Sara Evans talks about her decision to reconcile with Jay Barker, revealing the challenges they faced. She opens up about feeling worried that others might judge her for their choice. Despite the tough times, Evans explains how they worked through their problems, seeking help through therapy.
Reflecting on the emotional music video for her new single Pride, Evans reveals the deeply personal inspiration drawn from her own marriage struggles. Tears well in her eyes as she discusses the song's portrayal of a woman's strength amidst adversity. It's her story when her marriage hit a rough patch and the duo separated in 2021.
“He’s watched it with me many, many times. We show it to people when they come over, and my heart always… Oh, I didn’t know I was going to cry,” she says with a nervous laugh as she stops to collect herself. “People are going to judge me. ‘Why do you feel sorry for him?’ But I know what he’s feeling — he’s feeling shame. But he’s also being brave and being like, ‘Yeah, that’s the truth. I did that.’”
Sara Evans says that she fears judgement from people for her decision
During their separation, they faced challenges, especially in January 2022, when Barker, was arrested and charged with felony assault with a deadly weapon during a confrontation involving Evans, her daughter, and his car.
However, speaking to PEOPLE for the first time post-arrest, the country star asserts that her husband has transformed through extensive therapy, both individually and in marriage counseling. She knows that her choice to reconcile with Barker may not be universally accepted, but she remains hopeful that others will listen to her perspective.
“My biggest fear is that people are going to judge me or be angry with me for staying with Jay and not understand the whole story and the whole picture,” she says. “I just want, more than anything, for them to understand that each marriage is different, each story is different.” said Evans.
What happened between Sarah Evans and Jay Barker?
In 2008, Sara Evans and Barker, who is a former football player turned radio personality, got married on a Tennessee farm. This came after Sara's tough divorce from Craig Schelske. It was a fresh start for Evans. Her son Avery, now 24, and daughters Olivia, 21, and Audrey, 19 loved their new bond with their dad.
However, behind closed doors, things turned bad. Sara felt like her past experiences with her distant father and her rocky first marriage had left her with a lot of unresolved trauma and baggage from this relationship. She didn't tell her kids or close friends about Barker's accusations, which she blamed on alcohol.
Evan's past made her think that Barker's jealousy was a sign of love. She loved him so much that it took her a long time to admit the problems to others. She was in denial, thinking she could change or manage his behavior to avoid upsetting him.
“A lack of attention from men was all I’d ever known. If Jay was jealous, that meant he was obsessed with me, which meant he loved me,” she says. “I was so madly in love with him, and still am, that it took me forever to tell people. I was in denial. I thought, ‘I can change it. I can manage his behavior. I can just make sure that nothing ever upsets him.’” she said.
But by 2017, Evans began reading about toxic relationships. This helped her realize that something was off in her own marriage. She began to understand that she didn't deserve to be in a toxic relationship and settled for less than she deserved.
“That’s when I started to realize, ‘I am in a toxic relationship, and I don’t deserve this,’” she says. “I shouldn’t be scared to say what I want to say or do what I want to do.” the star said.
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