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From Gisele Bundchen's New Boyfriend to Deflategate, Here Are 5 Most Brutal Jokes from Tom Brady's Roast
Relive the most savage roasts about Tom Brady's ex-wife Gisele Bündchen-her new jiu-jitsu instructor boyfriend and other aspects of his life at the hilarious Netflix roast special.
From the moment host Kevin Hart took the stage, Brady's personal life became an open target, with comedians unleashing a relentless barrage of zingers that left no stone unturned in dissecting the demise of his 13-year marriage to Bündchen and other aspects of his life. Here are the top five most savage jokes about the NFL GOAT Tom Brady.
Kevin Hart's Opening Salvo on Gisele's Ultimatum and Karate Instructor Affair
In a no-holds-barred opening salvo, host Kevin Hart wasted no time in taking aim at Tom Brady's high-profile divorce from supermodel Gisele Bündchen. Hart quipped, "Gisele gave you an ultimatum. She said you have to retire or you're done. But when you have a chance to go 8-9 you gotta do it."
He then escalated the attack, implying Bündchen's alleged affair with her jiu-jitsu instructor, Joaquim Valente, stating, "You f–ked your coach, but let me tell you something people … that's what you've got to do to maintain your happiness. You sometimes got to f–k your coach. You know who else f–ked their coach? Gisele. She f–ked that karate man."
Jeff Ross Strikes a Nerve with Massage Scandal Joke
Renowned insult comic Jeff Ross managed to strike a nerve with Brady when he made a controversial joke about Patriots owner Robert Kraft's massage scandal. Brady's whispered warning, "don't say that s–t again," did little to deter Ross, who also referenced deflategate, the 2015 scandal in which the NFL disciplined Brady and the Patriots for lowering the inflation of game footballs. 
“I really wanted you to be our first G.O.A.T. to be roasted because you’re an example to future generations that if you work hard eat right, film the other team’s practices, deflate the balls and have the NFL make new rules just for you, then you too can be the third most famous guy in a Dunkin Donuts commercial, Tommy,” Ross joked.
Drew Bledsoe's Brutal Jabs on Marriage and Draft Pick
Former Patriots quarterback Drew Bledsoe, whom Brady replaced as the starter in 2001, delivered a one-two punch of brutal jabs. Bledsoe quipped, "There's two things I've experienced that Brady never will: being a first-round draft pick and a 28th wedding anniversary."
He then added insult to injury, referring to Brady's lack of sacks during his career, saying, "He's pretty used to not being touched. Just like at the end of the marriage."
Nikki Glaser's NSFW Jiu-Jitsu Instructor Joke
Comedian Nikki Glaser didn't hold back, making an NSFW joke about Bündchen's new beau, saying, "The only thing dumber than Brady agreeing to do this roast was telling Gisele to do jiu-jitsu. How hard must it be knowing your ex-wife's new boyfriend can beat your ass while eating hers?"
Kim Kardashian Being Edgy
Kim Kardashian also took the stage to both cheers and boos, noting the rumors that once swirled that the two were dating. “I know there were some rumors that we were, and I’d never say if we did or not,” she said. “I’d just release a tape.”
Tom Brady's Response Amid Relentless Bündchen Jokes
While Brady maintained a relatively good-natured demeanor throughout the onslaught of jokes targeting his split from Bündchen, the repetitive jabs seemed to visibly wear on him at times.
However, in true champion form, he opted to embrace the roast's theme, delivering a self-deprecating zinger in his closing remarks: "There have been a lot of jokes tonight, but I miss the love of my life … football."
ALSO READ: Tom Brady’s Netflix Roast Takes Surprising Turn With Controversial 9/11 Joke
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