Toxic Narcissistic Mother Quotes: Rising Above Toxicity

Explore a compilation of toxic narcissistic mother quotes that shed light on the complexities of toxic parents & offer perspectives for healing & self-discovery.

Aastha Pahadia
Written by Aastha Pahadia , Certified Relationship Coach
Updated on Mar 19, 2024 | 01:52 PM IST | 245K
Toxic Narcissistic Mother Quotes
Toxic Narcissistic Mother Quotes

Growing up in a toxic household leaves us with enduring trauma that's challenging to recover from fully. In today's article, we've assembled a compilation of toxic narcissistic mothers' quotes to aid you in healing your childhood wounds. Our connection with our mothers is the foundation for all subsequent relationships. Understanding the dynamics and imprints of this relationship, formed during our early years, is of utmost significance. If our mothers exhibited toxic narcissistic traits, their influence likely reached us, affecting our mental health, whether consciously acknowledged or not.

Dysfunctional parents and bad mothers can have a profound impact on their children. Children of narcissists would often find themselves in the complex position of bearing the weight of their parents' self-absorbed behaviors. This can lead to feeling responsible for their parents' emotional well-being, a phenomenon known as emotional incest. Behind closed doors, the facade of the perfect mother may crumble, revealing the true nature of narcissistic parents. The bonding between mother and child, which should be nurturing and supportive, can become tainted by narcissistic relationships. This emotional abuse, coupled with an inability to form healthy relationships, can have long-lasting effects on the child's mental health.

The mother-daughter relationship, in particular, can suffer significantly under the weight of narcissistic abuse. The family bonds that should provide security and love can be twisted into an abusive relationship characterized by manipulation, control, and emotional neglect. Growing up in such an environment can lead to childhood trauma, leaving lasting scars that extend into adulthood. 

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The narcissism exhibited by parents with narcissistic personality disorder can be especially damaging. The academic literature underscores the significance of addressing these issues for one's emotional well-being and ability to form healthy relationships in the future. To assist you in comprehending and addressing your experiences with a toxic narcissistic mother, we've compiled a collection of 100 enlightening toxic parent quotes. 

100 Toxic Narcissistic Mother Quotes to Rebuild from Within

Toxic Mother Quotes

Toxic Narcissistic Mother Quotes

1. “Somehow, I believed it was my obligation to try to do the right thing by her because she had given birth to me.” ? D.G. Kaye

2. “I was worthy of her love whether she gave it to me. Every child is worthy of love.” ? Richard Paul Evans

3. “An unloving mother robs the child of a sense of belonging. The need to belong can become a lifelong quest for him or her.” ? Peg Streep

4. “It has been my observation that parents kill more dreams than anybody.” – Spike Lee

5. “A narcissist’s criticism is their autobiography.” ? M. Wakefield

6. “A child should never feel as if they need to earn a mother’s love.” — Sherrie Campbell

7. “Parents wonder why the streams are bitter when they themselves have poisoned the fountain.” ? John Locke

8.  “Most narcissistic mothers see motherhood as a burden and like to let it be known how much work it is.” — Michelle Piper

9.  “An unpredictable parent is a fearsome god in the eyes of a child.” ? Susan Forward

10. “Family is supposed to be our safest haven. Very often, it’s the place we find the deepest heartache.” — Lyanla Vansant

11. “Silent treatment is a narcissist’s most used weapon.” — Anonymous

12. “The narcissist mother refuses to acknowledge her games if she is pouting, let her. If she is using guilt in an attempt to force you to do something, do not give in.” — Cynthia Bailey Rug

13.  “As long as you continue to react so strongly to them, you give them the power to upset you, which allows them to control you.” ? Susan Forward

14. “We forget in order to survive our childhoods when we are totally dependent on our parents’ goodwill; but to recover from such childhoods, we must begin by remembering the bad and the good.” ? Victoria Secunda

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15. “Just because someone gives you life doesn’t mean they will love you in the right way.” — Anonymous

16.  “Parents are supposed to give the child back to herself with love. If they’ve got duct tape over their eyes because of narcissism, it doesn’t happen.” — Jane Fonda

17.  “Feel sorry for your narcissistic mother, by all means. But know that you have every right to feel sorry for her from a safe distance.” — Danu Morrigan

18. “If all toxic moms understood the difference between healthy motherly love and toxic, destructive love, they wouldn’t be toxic in the first place.” — Samuel Zulu

Toxic Bad Mom Quotes

Toxic Narcissistic Mother Quotes

19. “You don’t have to repeat the trauma of your childhood. Use the pain your mother inflicted on you to motivate you to find a better way to raise your own children.” — Barrie Davenport

20. “Healthy moms are a delight to their children, but toxic moms are a source of grief to their own children.” — Samuel Zulu

21. “The truth is that the happier and stronger you are, the more unhappy the narcissistic parent is because when you feel good, they lose their grip over you, and the ability to shame you.” ? Diana Macey

22. “You don’t have to feel guilty if you have to distance yourself for a while from your toxic mom if she becomes too toxic to be around her in peace without causing any drama.” — Anonymous

23. “Sometimes, unconditional love from you, which you were never given by your abusive and toxic mom, is all that your toxic mom may need to help her realize where she came up short.” — Anonymous

24.  “If a toxic mom claims to love you, kindly remind her that there is a big difference between real love and abuse or control disguised as love and that real love doesn’t hurt nor is it abusive.” — Anonymous

25. “Victimization is a common tactic toxic mothers use to victimize their children to make them submissive to their controlling tyrannical rule.” — Samuel Zulu

26. “Sometimes you need to give up on people, not because you don’t care but because they don’t.” — Anonymous

27. “If you hold on to hurt and anger with a narcissist, the children will have no normal parent. The narcissistic parent will use them as puppets, lovebomb, and abandon them. You are their only hope.” — Tracy Malone

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28. “Very often, toxic moms will abandon their own children and find meaningless excuses to justify their deeds as to why they are not able to be there for their children.” — Anonymous

29. “When you grieve toxic, abusive parents, you don’t just grieve the abuse, you grieve everything you didn’t have.” — Lily Hope Lucario

30. “A toxic mother talks but never listens, and she gives advice but never takes any.” — Sherrie Campbell

31. “Gaslighting is a major tool of manipulation. It’s about distorting your perceptions and asserting what works better for the abuser.” ? Diana Macey

32.  “For toxic mothers out there, just know that your toxic and abusive behavior will one day backfire when the children you are mistreating grow up and become adults.” — Samuel Zulu

33. “Silent treatment cannot be argued with. It’s based on emotions and not on logic. The line of communication is cut off, and it means the existence of the child can be reduced to nothing.” ? Diana Macey

Selfish Toxic Mother Quotes

Toxic Narcissistic Mother Quotes

34. "Narcissistic love is riding on the rollercoaster of disaster-filled drama."  — Shoba Sreenivasan

35. "Toxic people attach themselves like leeches, sucking the joy and energy out of your life." — Karen Salmansohn

36. "Narcissists will destroy your life, erode your self-esteem, and do it with such stealth as to make you feel that you are the one that's letting them down."  — Wendy Powell

37. "Narcissists will never tell you the truth. They live in a world of deceit."  — Anthony Walker

38. "Narcissists manipulate and deceive in order to get what they want. They see themselves as victims and believe the world owes them something."  — Dr. George Simon

39. "Narcissists will never understand you. They are not capable of empathy, only manipulation."  — Karyl McBride

40. "Narcissists are great con artists. They are masters at creating a false image of themselves to hide their true intentions."  — Shahida Arabi

41. "A narcissistic mother will never genuinely support her child's accomplishments because she sees them as extensions of herself."  — Karyl McBride

42. "Narcissistic mothers only see their children as sources of attention and validation, rather than as individuals with their own needs."  — Christine Hammond

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43. "Narcissistic mothers will use guilt, fear, and manipulation to maintain control over their children."  — Susan Forward

44. “Nobody can be kinder than the narcissist while you react to life on his terms.” — Elizabeth Bowen

45. “Boys and girls of narcissistic mothers both have to deal with a deficit of maternal nurturing that their upbringing lacked.” ? Mark Bans Chick

46. “Just because your mother gave birth to you doesn’t mean they can care for you. Just because a woman had a child doesn’t necessarily equate to being safe, respectful, or healthy. NOT ALL MOTHERS CAN LOVE.” ? Dana Arcuri

47. “The narcissist is like a bucket with a hole in the bottom: No matter how much you put in, you can never fill it up.” — Dr. Ramani Durvasula

48. “Let’s get out of the habit of telling people, ‘That’s still your mom, your dad, or your sister.’ Toxic is toxic. You are allowed to walk away from people who constantly hurt you.” — Bynnada

49. “All toxic mothers are more dangerous than absent fathers due to their contagious toxic energy which poisons your soul.” — Anonymous

50. “There’s a definition of narcissism that when a parent is narcissistic, instead of the child seeing himself reflected in the mother’s face and the mother’s joy, the child of the narcissistic parent feels like, ‘What can I do to make her, okay, to make her happy?'” — Susan Sullivan

Toxic Mother Quotes

Toxic Narcissistic Mother Quotes

51. “Sometimes, narcissistic parents are also better loved from a distance to avoid further emotional damage.” — Anonymous

52. “We are all born the same, we are completely cute, innocent, sweet, and we need that reflection of ourselves as little human beings to live, and I was not receiving that from my mother.” ? Anneke Lucas

53. “In troubled families, abuse and neglect are permitted. It’s talking about them that is forbidden.” — Marcia Sirota

54.  “Many children of toxic parents find it exceptionally difficult to identify who they are once they grow up.” — JR Thorpe

55. “When I was with my mother, I sometimes considered myself a trophy. Something to be flaunted before friends. When out of public view, I sat on the shelf ignored and forgotten.” — Joan Frances

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56. “Many toxic parents compare one sibling unfavorably with another to make the target child feel that he’s not doing enough to gain parental affection. This motivates the child to do whatever the parents want in order to regain their favor. This divide and conquer technique is often unleashed against children who become a little too independent, threatening the balance of the family system.” — Susan Forward

57. “Toxic moms are self-absorbed parents, which is why they are controlling and possessive in the first place to their children.” — Samuel Zulu

58. “Narcissists don’t see their children as separate people that have a right to experience life from their own angle. There is no option in their heads in which the kids will be in charge of their own lives ‘unaided’ by the narcissist.” ? Diana Macey

59. “How to tell if someone is not good for you? You being yourself feels like a betrayal.” — Anonymous

60. “I will give my toxic mother one thing she never gave me—the truth.” ? Rayne Wolfe

61. “It is both tragic and freeing to accept that your mother is not capable of being the mother you always needed her to be.” — Stephi Wagner

62. “My toxic mother can only intimidate me if I let her. While she’s busy trying to bully the child, I, the adult, can reject her, ignore her, or report her to authorities.” ? Rayne Wolf

63.  “A narcissistic parent will provoke an independent child to anger to feel superior and prove the child’s flaws.” — Shannon Thomas

Toxic Mother-in-Law Quotes

Toxic Narcissistic Mother Quotes

64. “Covert narcissists prey on people with the right weaknesses for them to exploit. This is why the abuse is wrapped in a pretense of care, and they can get people fooled for a very long time.” ? Diana Macey

65. “Narcissism is not about self-love. It’s a clinical trait that belies a deep sense of emptiness, low self-esteem, emotional detachment, self-loathing, extreme problems with intimacy.” — Drew Pinsky

66. “When narcissists behave in an exhibitionistic manner, they are seeking the same sort of admiration as toddlers, and for the same reasons. They want attention. Some examples include inappropriate dress, talking too loudly, or gesturing in expansive and spac—intruding ways.” — Mark Ettensohn

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67. “Children of narcissists learn that love is abuse. The narcissist teaches them that if someone displeases you, it is okay to harm them and call it love.” — M. Wakefield

68. “Cutting your toxic mother off is not bad; it’s called self-care.” — Anonymous

69. “Our mothers tell us that there are no monsters under our beds or hidden inside our closets, but they don’t warn us that sometimes monsters come dressed as people that claim to love you more than the sun loves the moon.” — Nikita Gill

70. “While a narcissistic mother will gossip endlessly about the most details about your life, she is very secretive about her own life. She will lie about you but will punish you for telling them what she has done.” ? Gail Meyers

71. “Toxic mothers have this type of toxic, manipulative love which is controlling and possessive in nature and never allows you to be yourself or express your true individuality.” — Anonymous

72. “Sadly, most toxic mothers don’t even know that the unhealthy behavior they display to their children is toxic in the first place.” — Samuel Zulu

73. “Toxic mothers always remain the strangest, craziest people we’ve ever met.” — Marguerite Duras

Toxic Mom Quotes

Toxic Narcissistic Mother Quotes

74. “If someone gets angry at you for setting a boundary, consider that a good sign that the boundary was necessary.” — Jenna Korf 

75. “Getting angry when something about their behavior is challenged in the nicest way is a typical reaction of a narcissistic parent.” ? Diana Macey

76. “Hate is the complement of fear, and narcissists like being feared. It imbues them with an intoxicating sensation of omnipotence.” ? Sam Vaknin

77. “Narcissist mothers teach their daughters that love is not unconditional, that it is given only when they behave by maternal expectations and whims.” ? Dr. McBride

78. “Toxic mothers are toxic because of deep underlying issues in their lives such as a rough childhood, physical and emotional abuse which occurred in their early childhood.” — Samuel Zulu

79. “It’s not your fault that your mom is toxic as it isn’t your job to raise your mom because she is already an adult responsible for her own life choices just as you are responsible for your own.” — Anonymous

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80. “If toxic mothers are not getting the attention they crave from their children, they experience their children as inconveniences who stand in their way of doing what they want to do for themselves.” — Sherrie Campbell

81. “The narcissistic mother cannot give her child unconditional love. She’s not capable of being selfless, devoted, warm, mature, or attentive to you. Instead, everything is about her. Life revolves around meeting her unrealistic, immature needs. She expects your undivided attention. Your admiration. Your praises. Your loyalty to her. She demands you to meet her needs no matter how ridiculous they can be.” ? Dana Arcuri

82. “Unhealthy families discourage individual expression. Everyone must conform to the thoughts and actions of the toxic parents.” — Dr. Susan Forward

83. “Toxic moms are immature emotionally, which is why they behave the way they do. So, don’t mind their toxic behavior and concentrate on living your best life and don’t let their drama affect the quality of your livelihood.” — Anonymous

84. “Abusive parents often blame their children for their abusive and immature behavior as a way of covering their tracks so that they don’t look bad.” — Anonymous

85. “If you were raised as a child by a narcissistic mom, you might have spent a lifetime being mistreated and shamed for things that you never did. Toxic shame is a result of being told you are not enough. You may feel worthless and unlovable.” ? Dana Arcuri

86. “Denial is the lid on our emotional pressure cooker: the longer we leave it on, the more pressure we build up. Sooner or later, that pressure is bound to pop the lid, and we have an emotional crisis.” ? Susan Forward

87. “Whether it’s a parent, sibling, friend, or family member, do not allow a destructive person to put you down a hole for the rest of your life.” — Anonymous

88. “I have a gaping painful hole in my soul where good, loving parents and a normal, safe childhood should have been.” — Lily Hope Lucario

89. “If you have to parent your mother and put up with her childish and selfish behaviors, it may be time to create more serious boundaries for your own self-protection.” — Barrie Davenport

90. “Toxic mothers plant seeds of guilt, low self-esteem, and low self-worth into their daughters, which further manifests when those daughters get into their own relationships, making them extremely needy or even toxic just like their own moms.” — Anonymous

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91. “By undermining you, they make sure that if you complain about the narcissistic parent, nobody will believe you because they already have a certain negative image of you. Again, this abusive behavior is just how narcissists live day to day. The plotting and manipulation is necessary to twist others around their false image.” ? Diana Macey

92. “Statistics show that a narcissistic mother has a 98% chance of raising a narcissistic son. As a result, he will lie, cheat, steal, & in some cases, kill.” ? Mitta Xinindlu

93. “Since narcissists deep down feel themselves to be faultless, it is inevitable that when they are in conflict with the world, they will invariably perceive the conflict as the world’s fault.” ? M. Scott Peck

94. “Apparently, my parents were not worried about me being sick because they did not suggest any such thing. My sickness was nothing but a failure of character.” ? Diana Macey

95.  “I didn’t grow up having role models. I grew up having people I didn’t want to be like and seeing situations I’d never want to be in. Not all of us are dealt the right cards, but that doesn’t mean you can’t reshuffle your deck for a better outcome.” — Irina Vujakilja 

96. “Parents are destined to sin against their kids; it’s inevitable. As is narcissism and the human condition. Everyone has their ego and their ambitions. Life happens in between.” — Alice Ripley

97. “When you have this hurt for this long, particularly when a bond so sacred as the mother to child is broken, it’s a slow walk to healing.” — Iyanla Vanzant

98. "Behind the mask of narcissism lies a mother's love turned inward, unable to truly see beyond herself." — Anonymous

99. "I sacrificed so much for you, and this is how you repay me?" — Anonymous.

100. "I never make mistakes; you must be the one causing problems." — Anonymous

Conclusion

We've explored a collection of words that shed light on the challenging dynamics associated with toxic narcissistic mothers' quotes. While these quotes offer us a glimpse into such behaviors, we must remember that our focus should be on healing, self-discovery, and personal growth. If any of these quotes resonate with your experiences, know that seeking support from professionals, friends, or support groups can be a vital step forward. As we navigate these complexities, let's remember that we all deserve understanding, kindness, and the chance to build fulfilling relationships based on respect and genuine care.

ALSO READ: 91 Selfish Parents Quotes: Illuminating the Dark Side of Parenthood

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About The Author
Aastha Pahadia
Aastha Pahadia
Certified Relationship Coach

Aastha is a certified Relationship coach and she strives to help those who seek expert advice on relationships.

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