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10 Clear Signs of Jealous Friends You Need to Watch Out for
Are your friends really on your side? Learn to spot the warning signs of jealous friends with these 10 telltale clues. Don't let envy ruin your relationships.
Friendships are meant to be strong bonds built on trust and love. However, sometimes one negative factor can turn that bond toxic, leading to a deterioration of the friendship, and that factor is jealousy. Our contributor Chris Pleines, Dating expert - Dating Scout, a dating site, explains, “Jealousy in friendships is like a slow leak in a tire; you might not notice it immediately, but over time, it can leave you stranded. When one friend gets envious, it's like a shadow cast on the good times. Instead of cheering each other on, there's a hint of competition or a nagging feeling that one's success diminishes the other. Misunderstandings may pop up more often, and those fun chats might become a bit more tense. If not addressed, that green-eyed monster can turn a close bond into a distant memory.”
Jealousy, whether motivated by fear, anger, or insecurity, has the potential to infect even the closest friends, resulting in a loss of self-esteem and confidence. Unfortunately, our society often reinforces this jealousy by comparing friends based on their careers, further perpetuating the cycle of envy. Dealing with jealousy in a friendship can be challenging, especially when it's expressed subtly under the veil of friendship. If left unchecked, jealousy can have severe consequences for both parties, causing mental distress and destroying the bond. As a result, it's critical to identify jealous friends, the source of their envy, and take action to alleviate it. But how do you know whether your friends are secretly envious of you? Keep reading to learn about the telltale signs of jealous friends.
Top 10 Signs of Jealous Friends
Envying the success of others is often considered a form of motivation that inspires us to achieve something similar in our own lives. Conversely, when a toxic friend shows no regard for your accomplishments or happiness and instead seeks to destroy it, this is jealousy.
Imagine sharing news of your latest triumph or a glimpse into your next adventure, only for your friend to show little interest. Such dismissive behavior can signal their true feelings, and it could mean that they are harboring jealousy towards you. Here are a few other telltale signs your friend is jealous of you:
1. They React to Positive News with a Negative Attitude
You might have moments when you want to share a piece of good news with your closest friends, but instead of receiving their genuine congratulations and support, envy takes hold of some. Rather than being met with enthusiasm, you might sometimes be subjected to their pessimism and negative attitudes, highlighting the downsides of your happiness. Even worse, you might get a hollow and inauthentic pat on the back instead of sincere congratulations.
2. Everything Revolves Around Them
Have you ever told a friend a story only to have them cut you off in the middle with their own? It's as if your words hold no value, and their need for attention comes in the way of a genuine conversation.
Healthy communication involves active listening and mutual sharing, creating a space for empathy to bloom. Unfortunately, a jealous friend cares little for your feelings and interests, because to them, everything is solely about themselves.
3. They Aren’t Supportive of You
A friend who is jealous of your success will always pull you down and will not help you in achieving your professional or personal goals. With their harsh comments and pessimistic attitude, they'll hold you back and leave you feeling discouraged. If you notice this sign in your friend, understand that it’s time to cut ties with them and rise above the negativity before it drags you under.
4. They Copy Everything You Do
It is quite possible that without realizing it, your friend has taken to emulating your actions covertly. It can be challenging when your supposed “best friend” begins imitating you, be it by dressing identically or mirroring your speech.
5. They Make You Feel Incompetent
The company of jealous friends can make you question your abilities, regardless of how well you've done. Even if you feel elated by your success, if your friend gives off an air of disapproval, it can leave you feeling empty and dissatisfied. On top of that, envy can make them secretly harbor ill will towards you without you knowing. Their negative energy can easily infect you, leaving you feeling blue and incompetent.
6. They Have Insecurities And a Lack of Self-Esteem
As soon as you start expanding your social circle, you’ll notice that your once easy-going friend has suddenly turned clingy and possessive. They find faults with your new companions and make unwarranted accusations against them, all the while undermining your confidence.
It's important to note that individuals with toxic behavior typically suffer from feelings of inadequacy and believe that their position in your life is threatened. This, in turn, causes individuals to feel envious and insecure, causing them to behave in an unfavorable and harmful manner.
7. They Frequently Lie to Get Sympathy
Jealous friends perpetually have a preconceived notion lurking in the depths of their thoughts. They may even make up stories on the spur of the moment in order to fool you and earn your sympathy. Their egos remain uncertain, causing them to resort to dishonest tactics to evade unfavorable circumstances.
8. They Often Attempt to Outdo Or Outperform You
When you share a positive moment from your life, a jealous friend may respond with a tale that's even grander or more sensational. Essentially, they tend to imitate your success but then take it up a notch.
For instance, let's say you purchase your first-ever luxury car. Within a short period of time, your friend shows up with the same vehicle — only it's the latest edition. It's important to note that mimicking your choices doesn't always equate to jealousy — they might just adore the same things as you do. But when coupled with other red flags, this pattern of behavior is a telltale sign of jealousy in friendships.
8. They Talk Behind Your Back
An envious friend ensures that those in your immediate surroundings are aware of your confidential information. Jealous friends derive pleasure from belittling their friends behind their backs, demonstrating to everyone else their superior qualities.
9. It’s Exhausting to Be Around Them
This is yet another unmistakable sign your friend is jealous of you. When you spend time with your friends, it is supposed to be fun and enjoyable, but being around a toxic friend makes you feel overwhelmed and stressed.
When the two of you part ways, a sense of relief sweeps over you, indicating that something isn't quite right. This friend has a way of sucking all the positivity out of the air.
How to Deal with a Jealous Friend?
It's important to preserve the bond of a cherished friendship despite the annoyance you may feel toward your friend's conduct. The approach you take when addressing the situation can greatly impact the state of your relationship with them. Consider these steps when dealing with a friend who may be experiencing feelings of jealousy:
1. Respond to Them Constructively
If you have a friend who suffers from insecurities, it is critical to provide consistent support and understanding. You can help by taking steps to address their issues and curb any negative behaviors or habits. Always aim to respond constructively, being clear and specific in your intentions. With your efforts, your friend will feel better and more confident.
2. Give Your Friends Comfort But Don’t Let Yourself Down
When it comes to keeping your friendship, you and your friend must both put forth effort. It's okay to share your accomplishments, just be mindful not to come off as insensitive or negative towards your friend. Remember that jealousy has no place in a good friendship, and it's crucial to offer support and comfort to one another rather than pointing fingers. Not only will this make you and your friend feel more confident, but it will also strengthen your bond.
3. Put Yourself in Their Shoes
Jealousy can create negative vibes that push your friend away from you. They may unconsciously lash out or create a gap between you two. Instead of becoming defensive, empathize with them.
Imagine how you would feel if you were in their position. See things from their perspective and decide on how to proceed. Perhaps, without realizing it, you are flaunting your achievements in their face or boasting too much. When deciding how to proceed, try to comprehend their point of view and consider their feelings. You can take the appropriate actions to solve the problem if you understand how they feel.
4. Highlight Your Friend’s Strengths And Achievements
When interacting with your friend, ensure that you give equal recognition to their achievements and strengths. It is crucial to appreciate their efforts just as you would want them to recognize yours. This gesture helps prevent any intimidation or insecurities that your friend may have towards your accomplishments or any perceived competition between you two. This advice applies to both new friendships and romantic relationships.
5. Confront Them Directly
Confronting your feelings and discussing them with your friend is imperative, as holding them back will only aggravate the issue. Moreover, you must also assure your friend that no one can ever replace them and that their significance remains unaltered in your life.
6. Give Them Some Time
Once you have talked with your jealous friend, take a breather and allow everything to settle in. It's likely that they require a lengthier period than you to start shedding off their inexplicable envy. Granting them distance is the key to addressing their needs.
Resist the urge to coerce them into altering their perception of you. Once they've mulled things over, they'll regain their wits and ideally have the ability to mend your strained relationship.
Conclusion
Friends are meant to be a source of encouragement and support to you. They should feel as though your achievements are their own, flourishing in harmony with you. It is noteworthy that jealousy may sometimes work as a catalyst in boosting your confidence and inspiring you to reach greater heights. However, it must never take the helm of your friendship. Unfortunately, jealous friends do exist, and it is important to understand how to deal with them. The first step is recognizing signs of jealousy, like demeaning remarks and painting negative scenarios in a positive light. If a friend shows evident signs of jealousy, then practicing communication with openness and empathy may help dissolve such feelings. Keep faith in your friend and let things unfold naturally. If situations get tough, you can always practice gratitude and coping techniques to deal with your mental peace. However, if everything else fails, you must not hesitate to distance yourself from your envious friends for your own good.
Contributor: Chris Pleines, Dating expert - Datingscout
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