What Is Unconditional Love And Is It Healthy?
Unconditional love means loving someone selflessly. From definition to signs, here’s everything you need to know about loving someone unconditionally.
It is in the nature of humans to expect rewards for good deeds and accomplishments. We all have social and emotional needs and expect people to act in certain ways. Conditional love is about hoping to get something in return when we show love and care to others. Unconditional love is the complete opposite of conditional love. This type of love is unquestioning and wholehearted. Many people believe loving someone unconditionally is close to impossible, but it's not! Here we are going to unravel everything about the aspects of unconditional love.
What Is Unconditional Love?
In simple terms, unconditional and compassionate love is about loving someone without terms and conditions. This kind of love is pure and makes a person feel accepted and secure. The term is often associated with complete love, compassionate love, or true altruism.
When you love someone unconditionally, you don't care about anything else except your partner's happiness. It entails a relationship wherein the end goal is positivity and happiness.
One can also describe unconditional love as the act of loving someone:
- without expecting anything in return
- as they are
- no matter what they do
- all the time and for the rest of your life
- regardless of their flaws and faults
All in all, when you care about the other person's happiness without thinking about how it will benefit you, know that you are in deep love with someone.
What Does Conditional Love Look Like?
A relationship built on the terms of rules, regulations, restrictions, and terms is regarded as conditional love. This type of love doesn't give you positive vibes because it makes you feel like you always need to earn the love and respect of the other person. Additionally, love based on conditions can vanish when the rules and regulations are not followed.
It is important to note that despite what people think, parents and kids can share conditional love. Sometimes, we see parents who expect a lot from their kids, sometimes to the extent that it kills their child's innocence. This "conditional love" might sound like this:
"I spent a fortune on your studies; when will you return the favor by earning in six figures?"
"As your parents, we want you to become a doctor. We are embarrassed that you want to be an artist."
In short, if parents put the terms and conditions on their kids concerning their career choice, dating, etc, that's conditional love.
Now the question arises, ‘does unconditional love exist or is it a beautiful mirage?’ Let us dig deeper into this and know the reality of loving someone unconditionally.
Is It Possible to Love Someone Unconditionally?
Everything is possible in this world, but being in love with someone unconditionally might seem like a fairytale. The definition of unconditional love is simple, but the concept behind it is quite complicated. Everyone craves a partner who can adore them, love them, and be with them — no questions asked! In its truest form, loving someone unconditionally is not at all easy and it also might turn out to be unhealthy if the relationship is toxic. But it is possible to be in a relationship where no factor can tamper with a person's feelings for the other. So, although loving someone unconditionally does not always seem realistic; you can always try to put in your best efforts to love your partners, friends, and family members more unconditionally.
Is Unconditional Love Healthy?
Being in a healthy relationship where you are loved unconditionally can feel like a boon, but it can only be sustained if it has boundaries. It is much easier to garner kindness, empathy, love, and compassion if your partner knows you are working sincerely to become the best version of yourself. Loving someone unconditionally can turn out to be both healthy and unhealthy!
For instance, the answer to the question “Would you change anything for your love?” is mostly “No, my partner should accept me for who I am.” This leaves no scope for improvement and adjustment. The mindset of “accept me with all my flaws” can wreak havoc in any relationship. It can also turn unhealthy if one or both persons are toxic and use unconditional love to hide their authentic selves and abuse their partner.
However, it is different if a person is willing to compromise during the later stage of a romantic relationship. A relationship based on unconditional love may also work if you love each other a lot and have complete regard for each other's feelings.
Top 10 Telltale Signs of Unconditional Love That Will Tell You It Is Real
1. Your Needs Are Met
If your partner takes care of all your needs and considers your wellbeing a priority, it might be a sign your partner loves you unconditionally.
2. They Support You Emotionally
Life is a roller-coaster ride; you never know when you are going up and down. It is said that people who are with you through your worst are your well-wishers. A partner who loves you unconditionally will always support you and be there for you through thick and thin.
3. They Put Your Happiness Above Theirs
Maybe you have planned to go and watch a movie, and they have planned to have a laid-back day doing nothing. Here if they choose your idea of spending the day instead of yours, it means they love you unconditionally. In unconditional pure love, a person puts their significant other's happiness first.
4. They Don't Ask for Favors
In compassionate love, one doesn't seek favors or expect the other to do anything in return. For example, if your partner has given you a gift, and they don't expect you to provide a return gift or do anything in return for the gift, they might love you unconditionally.
5. They Respect You
Respect is a virtue that's required to succeed in all spheres of life, including love. When a person is respectful of your thoughts, beliefs, and values, know they are just the right one for you.
6. They Accept Your Flaws
A person who loves you unconditionally will accept you with both your positives and negatives. A notable sign that you are in a love relationship that's unconditional is if they truly accept the real you and are not condescending about your weaknesses.
7. The Relationship Is Reciprocal
A romantic relationship should be a two-way street. A blissful relationship is one where people have respect and support for each other. If this is what you have, it means you have unconditional pure love.
8. They Want to See You Succeed
A lovable partner will never envy their partner's success. In an unconditional relationship, partners support each other's dreams. They aspire and encourage each other to do better and achieve the unconquerable. True love gives you wings to fly and do the impossible.
9. They Take Care of You
Even at weddings, a couple vows to be with each other in health and sickness. When a person loves you deeply, they will stick with you to cater to your needs when you are sick.
10. They Are Proud of You
In real life, we all love to be encouraged, don't we? When we achieve something in life, it feels nice to get applauded. If your partner is proud of your accomplishments and always motivates you to do better, this is a telltale sign that your partner loves you unconditionally.
How to Love Unconditionally And Make Your Relationship Blissful?
Does unconditional love exist? Yes, it does! It might sound complex, but in reality, there are several ways to practice it and have a happy relationship. Below are some tips that can help you regarding this:
1. Practice Self-love
You don't need anyone else's constant support when you love yourself. Before you share your love with someone else, it is crucial to practice self-love.
2. Learn to Let Go of Small Things
We must practice forgiveness to have a beautiful relationship. This doesn't mean you let the other person do all the wrong things and hurt you. It's about being empathetic and acting kinder if your significant other has made a mistake. Humans are bound to err, and it is up to us if we want to forgive them and let go or make them feel more miserable about their mistakes. It is vital to choose the former and not hold any grudges. This will help you love people unconditionally.
3. Be Patient
It is easy to be with people in their good times, but good friends and partners don't leave your side during bad times. If your partner is struggling emotionally or having financial hardships, have their back and give them the positivity they need. It may take your partner some time to get back on their feet, so it is essential not to lose hope and keep encouraging your partner to do better.
4. Listen to Others Attentively
When you listen to your loved ones with proper attention, you tend to know them better. It is important to lend an ear to your partner and closely listen to whatever they say without judging them. Sometimes all a person needs is someone to hear them, so be a good listener and be there for others when they share their thoughts and feelings with you.
5. Understand Love Is About Being Vulnerable
True love requires one to remove the facade and be true to oneself. This means love requires you to take risks and be vulnerable. Sharing your deepest secrets and having difficult conversations with your loved ones can be stepping stones in defining your relationship. Don't be hesitant to take the mask off, be the real you, and indulge in deep conversations to practice unconditional love.
6. Let Them Embrace Their Flaws
No one is born perfect, and we should not repeatedly ask someone to mend something they cannot. If your partner has flaws that mean no harm, don't push them to change themselves. However, bad habits must be changed, so always push your partner to become a better person. But also remember that a person will always have a few weaknesses, so tell them to embrace them happily.
7. Give Them Some Alone Time
A codependent relationship can at times make you feel choked. One of the best ways to love your beloved unconditionally is to give them some space from time to time. Maybe your partner wants to indulge in a hobby or go on a solo trip — don't feel bad if they want to do things alone and give them the 'me-time' they need.
8. Tell Them You Always Have Their Back
True unconditional love is about reassuring your partner that they are not alone. It's about telling them they can count on you anytime they want and that you will always support them like a strong pillar.
9. Practice Honesty as the Best Policy
Lies are short-lived, but truth goes a long way in keeping a relationship happy. Even in the most challenging times, don't lose your honesty and be open with your loved ones about everything.
10. Express Your Love
Loving someone unconditionally can be easy if you express your love in simple ways. Of course, you can give something to your partner, but you don't always need to shell out money to show love. Give them a shoulder to cry on, tell them you love them, hug them, and motivate them — little things like these can express your love.
Unconditional love means doing things for another's happiness without hoping for anything in return. At first glance, it might seem like an impossible thing to do, but by being honest and caring and practicing gratitude, one can do it easily. If you love someone unconditionally, make sure to establish healthy boundaries to not hurt yourself. Happy relationships can make you feel like the luckiest person in the world, so be non-judgmental and compassionate to have the most beautiful love story. Remember, if you want to practice the art of loving someone unconditionally, you must start with loving yourself in the same way.