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Hard Talk: Top 10 Subtle Signs Your Marriage Is over
From lack of communication to not respecting boundaries, here are some subtle signs your marriage is over.
Marriage is a beautiful bond that unites two people, but like every other relationship in the world, a marriage too stands the test of time if two people are determined to be with each other through thick and thin. Relationships are complicated, and a couple needs to put in their best effort to make it work. Conflicts and disagreements are a part and parcel of a couple's life, and it's quite common for them to have ups and downs over time. However, when a relationship hits a point where there are constant arguments, fights, and no trust and understanding, know that it's time to reassess the relationship. Many times, we are blinded by love and so signs your marriage is over may be hard to notice, but if you find yourself always unhappy in your married life, it's time to take things into your own hands and take the necessary steps. Read on to know about the signs that your marriage is falling apart.
1. No Respect for Each Other
Love alone isn’t enough for a relationship to work — for a marriage to work, spouses should have mutual respect for each other. In the words of our contributor Chris Pleines, a dating expert, “Respect means seeing and appreciating your partner for who they are, along with the flaws and all. Trust and respect are mutually reinforcing, and they create a positive and supportive environment for your marriage to flourish.” If there’s no respect for each other then tiny issues can get magnified resulting in unwanted blame games, hurting each other, and turning toxic towards each other. Lack of respect is one of the prominent signs a marriage is over.
2. Bitterness for Spouse
Disagreements and arguments are quite common between spouses; but when love and respect are there, everything gets sorted in the end. However, if you have bitterness for your spouse, or they are bitter towards you — it’s not a good sign. Bitterness may act like a slow poison in a marriage. It comes from holding onto a grudge or from the inability to forgive the spouse for something wrong they have done. Bitterness develops with time but can cause permanent damage to a relationship.
3. Lack of Trust
Trust is one of the key foundations of a relationship. During the initial years of marriage, there can be doubts primarily caused due to jealousy, insecurity, or because you might not know each other properly. However, if doubt persists even after a few years or your spouse has started to doubt you out of nowhere or you cannot trust your partner anymore, it’s a sign your relationship has been severely damaged. It is difficult, rather impossible, for a marriage to survive without trust. Backing this, our contributor Chris Pleines says, “Trust and respect are essential for a happy marriage because they create a safe space for you to be vulnerable, intimate, and loved. Trust is having faith in your partner and knowing that you can count on them.”
4. Frequent Arguments And Fights
It’s quite common to be irritated with your spouse once in a while, but if you are having constant arguments and fights — it’s one of the signs you are in an unhappy marriage. It’s practically difficult to become intolerant to your spouse unless you don’t love them anymore. A healthy marriage cannot survive for long without love, especially when you have external forces and individual priorities involved in the equation.
5. Lack of Interest in Spending Time Together
Remember the time when you were madly in love with each other and looked for moments to spend time together? Often the hustle of life and meeting our mundane requirements you might have not got enough time to spend together. However, has it ever occurred to you that you had time yet you didn’t want to spend with your spouse? Isn’t that very unusual for people who are in love with each other? If you have felt similar or you are seeing your partner behave in that way then it means your spouse isn’t interested in you anymore. You may as well see your marriage nearing its end.
6. You Don’t See Your Spouse in Your Future
Married couples make every decision together. If you see yourself missing yourself from your spouse’s future plans, or you don’t want to include your partner in any plans — it’s a clear sign you are in an unhappy relationship and your marriage is falling apart.
7. Lack of Physical Intimacy
Physical intimacy has always played a central role in ensuring happy marriages. Couples are inseparable and often show their love with physical intimacy. It’s difficult to imagine couples not inclined for physical intimacy unless they are not interested in each other. If you are experiencing a lack of physical intimacy with your partner, it could be a sign your marriage is over.
8. You Are Not Interested in Working on Your Marriage
Like every other relationship, marriages go through various ups and downs too. If you are in love with your spouse then you will try to fix the issues, no matter how many times you fight or how badly your relationship is tested. On the other hand, if the relationship is torn and you don’t love your spouse anymore then you would not work on your relationship. It takes a lot of patience, and compromises, and it is hard too. If you aren’t keen on improving the relationship then it's an obvious sign the marriage is over.
9. Not Willing to Adjust
In a committed relationship, people make lots of compromises and adjustments to ensure a smooth and happy life. Lack of adjustment shows an unwillingness to work on the marriage, and it’s one of the warning signs your marriage is over. No one would want to compromise and adjust in any given situation unless they strongly want the other person to be with them. When married couples want to be together, they would go to any lengths and move oceans to keep each other happy. But, when a couple decides not to make any adjustments for each other, it’s a clear sign the marriage is over.
10. Having Unrealistic Expectations
You may have expectations from your spouse and would feel bad if those aren’t fulfilled. That’s a usual scene. However, having unrealistic expectations from your spouse and getting angry at them when those aren’t fulfilled is a sign you are in a toxic marriage. An easy way of knowing when your marriage is over is when you see your partner blaming you for trivial reasons and picking up a fight with you for no valid reason. Your spouse will have unrealistic expectations from you that you won’t be able to fulfill. They would become upset with you and gradually make it a reason for calling off the marriage.
Conclusion
Marriage is not your responsibility alone; never has it been one partner’s affair. If your marriage doesn’t work out, it would be unfortunate but look at the other side too. Maybe your spouse deliberately wanted it to fail or you both were poles apart and remaining together was harming your mental health. Whatever the reason, marriage falling apart is extremely heartbreaking, but if you are in a toxic relationship, it’s better to walk away and find some sunshine. If you notice any of the signs your marriage is over then gather courage to face the situation. Prepare yourself for the trial; it will help you for your greater good.
Contributor: Chris Pleines, Dating expert - Datingscout
ALSO READ: My Husband Hates Me: Reasons, Signs, and What to Do
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