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11 Signs You’re Socially Awkward And How to Overcome It
Unlock your social potential and break free from awkwardness. Discover signs you’re socially awkward and get helpful tips to confidently navigate any situation.
We've all experienced that socially awkward moment where we wish we could vanish into thin air instead of stumbling through an uncomfortable conversation. It could be because we unintentionally said something inappropriate, forgot someone's name, or even cracked a terrible joke, leaving us in an excruciatingly uncomfortable silence.
If mingling at social gatherings, small talk, or striking up a conversation with strangers makes your heart pound out of your chest, fret not! You're not the only one struggling. Research shows that over 60% of people have struggled with social anxiety or shyness at some point.
Explaining whether it is normal to be socially awkward, our contributor Chris Pleines, a dating expert from DatingScout - a dating site, says, “While social awkwardness is common, it can also be a symptom of social anxiety disorder, a mental health condition that causes a fear of social situations.”
He further shares some ways to treat such anxiety, saying, “You can treat social anxiety disorder with medication, therapy, relaxation, social skills, support, positive thinking, self-compassion, and exposure. You can overcome your social anxiety with the right help and support. Remember, you are not alone."
If you relate to this, check out these 11 tell-tale signs that you may be a socially awkward person, and discover simple yet effective ways to overcome those cringe-worthy moments. Read on to learn more!
What Does It Mean to Be Socially Awkward?
Although being socially awkward does not qualify as a mental health disorder, it serves as an indication of individuals who may struggle to comprehend accepted societal behaviors. Some may face challenges with clear communication, while others might act in a manner that falls outside the realm of typical societal norms. Overall, this behavior stems from a lack of refined social skills that can potentially make others feel uneasy.
Sharing ways to improve social skills and become a better conversationalist, our contributor Chris Pleines, says, “To improve your social skills and become a better conversationalist, you need to communicate and interact with others effectively. To do this, you need to listen actively, ask open-ended questions, use humor and banter, show empathy and respect, and give compliments. You can also learn from books, articles, magazines, podcasts, and other online sources that offer advice and tips on how to be more social. You can enhance your skills by setting small and realistic goals, asking for feedback and support, and being kind to yourself.”
11 Signs of Socially Awkward People
If you have ever found yourself struggling in social situations, unsure of what to say or how to act, you may be showing signs of social awkwardness. These can manifest in various ways, from physical symptoms like a racing heart or difficulty breathing to more subtle signs like feeling lonely or experiencing social anxiety. Here are eleven potential signs to watch out for if you're truly socially awkward:
1. You Feel Uneasy When Surrounded by People
It's no secret that someone who struggles socially is often plagued by discomfort when it comes to being in a crowd. Whether it's because of nervousness or an overwhelming sense of unease, this trait is a surefire indication that someone is struggling to fit in.
For instance, when invited to attend a friend's social gathering that involves a plethora of new people, you feel out of your element and try to remove yourself as quickly as possible. Essentially, it's like being a fish out of water. Everything you do or say is a potential pitfall, and that thought alone is enough to drain you of any remaining social confidence.
2. Too Many Awkward Silences
Your talks stumble along and break apart in awkward silences, only because you lack the right words to speak. Whether you're with a stranger or someone unfamiliar, you tend to offer only short replies and cast your gaze down toward the ground. This in turn extinguishes any sparks of communication before they even begin to ignite.
The ensuing silence between you two becomes so unbearable that you feel the urge to vanish altogether, seeking an escape from your unease.
3. Your Conversations Don’t Flow
Interacting with someone you haven't met before or don't know well can be a real hurdle for you. It's difficult to figure out how to inquire about appropriate topics, convey the correct things, and present interest in the conversation. To top it off, having small talk is a daunting task for you.
As a result, the conversation lacks flow, leaving you and the other person feeling uncomfortable. It usually ends rather quickly, and the individual you just chatted with prefers to move on to someone else.
4. You Find It Difficult to Put Your Thoughts into Words
You find it hard to express yourself and often say the wrong things. Even though you’re smart, when you talk to others, your words don’t come out as you intended. Your thoughts are clear in your mind, but when you try to communicate them, something always gets lost in translation, and people end up misunderstanding you. Sometimes, you might say something that offends others without meaning to, because you struggle to judge what’s appropriate and what’s not.
5. You’re Frequently Left Out from Team Activities
Whether it's a company team-building event or a social gathering with your friends, you often find yourself on the outskirts looking in. It's not that you're not interested, but you tend to gravitate towards solitary endeavors and that's become your reputation.
For example, if your crew wants to partake in a round of charades, you'll probably take a pass. It's not that you're unenthusiastic, it's just that you're not comfortable being the center of attention.
At work, you're typically given tasks to work on solo and while you're fine with that, it can sometimes be disheartening to observe your colleagues working together seamlessly. It makes you feel left out and excluded from the camaraderie.
6. You Sometimes Get Overly Talkative in Social Settings
Sometimes you tend to be overly talkative in social situations, which can lead you to divulge personal details that you later regret sharing.
During awkward moments or when attempting to impress others, you may feel the need to tell a story from your past that is either too intimate or irrelevant to the conversation. This can come across as peculiar to those who have just met you.
Afterward, you realize your mistake and feel foolish and exposed. In reality, the story you shared was probably harmless, but you still feel regretful and embarrassed about your lack of social grace.
7. You Misconstrue Other People’s Questions And Words
Your inability to grasp the intention behind other people's words and questions can often lead to misunderstandings. Your lack of social finesse often results in you becoming overly preoccupied with your own anxiety and uneasiness, which then hinders your ability to effectively interact with others. Consequently, you tend to misinterpret their words and frequently ask them to clarify their statements.
8. You Struggle to Make Friends
The idea of mingling with new individuals does not appeal to you, and initiating conversations can be quite challenging. Hence, social events tend to be a bit uncomfortable for you.
Introductions can be tricky, and you often find yourself grappling with the right approach to introduce yourself. Finding yourself alone with strangers can also be nerve-wracking.
As a result, it's tough for you to make genuine friends. People might perceive you as disinterested or unfriendly, which makes it harder for you to establish strong relationships.
9. Your Behavior in Public Is Odd And Clumsy
This could be due to social anxiety that causes you to be nervous in social situations. You might accidentally bump into someone, drop something, or laugh at an inappropriate time, which can make you feel more self-conscious.
It's challenging for you to be comfortable in social gatherings, which results in a lack of relaxation. When you become tense, you may not feel like yourself, and that may cause more awkward moments. To escape such scenarios, you might want to isolate yourself and be less social. It's not uncommon for people like you to prefer leaving such events quickly.
10. You Excessively Analyze Your Social Abilities
Post any social gathering, you scrutinize your actions, statements, and entire performance. You recount every uncomfortable thing you expressed, harp on your mistakes, and blame yourself for being odd.
You also tend to ruminate over the possible scenarios even before an encounter. You are constantly filled with daunting thoughts of potential moments of uncomfortable silences, unsuitable queries, and impending embarrassment. You can already picture how people avoid conversing with you, and eventually, you end up alone as usual.
11. You End up Avoiding Social Encounters Entirely
Due to the constant let-downs you face every time you attend a gathering or encounter someone new, you may eventually throw in the towel. In order to shield yourself from the uncomfortable tension and unease, you could wind up shunning all social encounters.
If you tend to be introverted, this may come as a natural tendency, as you don't typically have a great yearning for social interaction. You're content with a small group of buddies, after all. However, if you lean more toward being an extrovert, you may start feeling lonely and discouraged.
How to Be Less Socially Awkward?
Despite being socially awkward, it is possible to live a complete and satisfying life. You can learn to manage and occasionally lessen such uneasiness by training yourself in the art of mindfulness, through practice in social situations and even therapy sessions. Here are some helpful strategies to deal with your awkward social skills:
1. Engage in Social Interactions: Boost your social confidence by practicing social interactions. Role-play conversations with a friend, or try socializing in online forums.
2. Confront Social Awkwardness: Don't let social awkwardness control you. Instead of running or avoiding social interactions, try recognizing and addressing the source of your anxiety at that moment.
3. Discover the Source of Your Shame: Reflect on your past experiences and try to identify the source of your shame. This may be due to childhood trauma or negative experiences in your adult life. Reflecting on past experiences can help identify the root of your discomfort, enabling you to take corrective measures to move forward.
4. Avoid Perfectionism: Nobody's perfect. Accept yourself for who you are, flaws and all. Authenticity is key to building social connections.
5. Listen Attentively: Show genuine interest in others by listening to them attentively. Give them your full attention, and refrain from distractions like your phone.
6. Refrain from Identifying as “Socially Awkward”: Stop telling yourself that you're socially awkward. This type of negative self-talk can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Instead, focus on your strengths and qualities.
7. Understand Body Language: Body language can reveal a lot about a person's thoughts and feelings. Learn to recognize nonverbal cues so you can better relate to others and respond appropriately.
8. Have Open-Ended Questions Ready: Asking open-ended questions is a great way to encourage conversation and get to know someone better. Consider having a list of questions prepared in advance.
9. Respect Personal Boundaries: Be mindful of personal space and physical boundaries. This may vary depending on the type of relationship and the social setting.
10. Stay Present in the Moment: Stay focused on the present moment during social interactions. Use mindfulness techniques to ground yourself and stay present.
11. Remember You're Not Alone: Everyone experiences social awkwardness at some point. Don't be too hard on yourself. Remember, you're not alone.
12. Embrace Embarrassment: It's okay to feel embarrassed sometimes. This is part of the human experience. Learning to cope with embarrassment will make you stronger.
13. Bring a Friend: Bringing a trusted friend to social events can provide moral support and help you feel more comfortable.
14. Consider Therapy: Talking to a therapist can be a valuable way to learn skills to manage social anxiety. It's a safe space to explore underlying issues and receive support.
Conclusion
Being socially awkward is a challenge that can affect anyone, but it doesn't have to rule your life. Fortunately, there are plenty of ways to overcome or manage it effectively. Learning why we feel this way and becoming aware of our surroundings during moments of discomfort can be helpful. With understanding, self-compassion, and professional help, you can learn to overcome it and navigate social situations with confidence. Take small steps each day, and before you know it, socializing will become second nature. Remember, awkwardness happens to everyone, but how you deal with it is what truly matters.
Contributor: Chris Pleines, Dating expert - Datingscout
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