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105 Funny Work Quotes That Will Make Your Co-workers Chuckle
Explore a collection of funny work quotes that inject laughter into your daily hustling day and remind you that humor is the key to surviving the workplace.
Below is our hilarious collection of 105 funny work quotes to lighten your daily grind mood. Some days, the mere thought of dragging yourself to work feels like a cruel joke. However much you may long for your dream job, you call upon your inner adulting spirit and begin your daily grind. Maybe you're haunted by an impending deadline that's slowly squeezing the life out of you, or you're tired of being entangled in the monotonous web of office hours.
No matter the specific aspect of work that has cast a dark cloud over your spirits fear not! The remedy to uplift your weary soul lies in the delightful realm of motivational funny work quotes. Brace yourself for a collection of 105 side-splitting hilarious quotes and work-related anecdotes that skillfully poke fun at the rollercoaster ride of being a dedicated professional. These humorous quotes possess the power to brighten even the gloomiest of workdays and infuse them with laughter. So, buckle up, dive in, and let these funny but inspirational work quotes rejuvenize you and fill your day with productivity.
Funny Quotes About Work to Keep the Productivity Flowing
1. “I choose a lazy person to do a hard job because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
2. “No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx
3. “Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen
4. "It takes less time to do a thing right than it does to explain why you did it wrong." — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
5. "If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter." — John Gotti
6. "Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done." — Peter Drucker
7. "Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit." — George Carlin
8. “It's a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can't eat for eight hours; he can't drink for eight hours; he can't make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work." — William Faulkner
9. "Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?" — Edgar Bergen
10. "It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you." — Dwight D. Eisenhower
11. People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do." — Elbert Hubbard
12. "I am a friend of the working man, and I would rather be his friend than be one." — Clarence Darrow
13. "The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one." — Oscar Wilde
14. "You can't have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic." — Zig Ziglar
15. "As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Payday, lunchtime, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement." — Tom Goins
16. "I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours." — Jerome K. Jerome
17. "The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen." — Sarah Brown
18. "If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock." — Claude McDonald
19. "The easiest job in the world has to be a coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse." — Dennis Miller
20. "Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work." — Robert Orben
21. "Delegate your work. Stop spending dollar time on penny jobs." — Mary Kay Ash
22. "The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.?" — Stanley J. Randall
Funny Work Quotes of the Day to Brighten Your Work Hours
23. "If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keeping your mouth shut."? — Albert Einstein
24. "Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.?" — Homer Simpson
25. "There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it??" — ?Kin Hubbard
26. "There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.?" — David Letterman
27. "Time is an illusion. Lunchtime is doubly so." — Douglas Adams
28. "The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished." – Groucho Marx
29. "The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office." — Robert Frost
30. "People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. The problem is they want a week’s pay for it." – Joey Adams
31. "Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy." – Charlie McCarthy
32. "An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field." — Niels Bohr
33. "The reward for good work is more work." – Francesca Elisia
34. "It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, and waves pound the sand. I beat people up." —Muhammad Ali
35. "Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work." – Earl Nightingale
36. "Pride, commitment, and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free." — Anonymous
37. "My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck." — Anonymous
38. "A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B." — Fats Domino
39. "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar." — Drew Carey
40. "When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?'" — Don Marquis
41. “Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you're just sitting still?" — J. Paul Getty
42. "I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock." — Henny Youngman
43. "All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure." — Mark Twain
Funny Work Day Quotes to Tickle Your Funny Bone
44. "When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because . . . they had three snakes and one day I braided them." – Steven Alexander Wright
45. "Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there." — Will Rogers
46. "People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day!" — Anonymous
47. "A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job." — Zig Ziglar
48. "A baseball game is twice as much fun if you're seeing it on the company's time." — William C. Feather
49. "I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I'm around." — Homer Simpson
50. "The taxpayer—that's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination." — Ronald Reagan
51. "Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor." – John Ciardi
52. "It’s a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleges and to realize that they are young enough to be your children." – Alan Alda
53. "I’m not retiring, I am graduating . . . retirement means that you’ll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. It ain’t going to happen." – Junior Seau
54. "I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what that means? You know what your boss was trying to say? It’s like, 'Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.'” – Chris Rock
55. "Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember, the only taste of success some people get is to take a bite out of you." – Zig Ziglar
56. "Where people aren’t having fun, they seldom produce good work." – David Ogilvy
57. "If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese
58. "People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily." – Zig Ziglar5
59. "Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." – Thomas Edison
60. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
61. "The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it." — Groucho Marx
62. "If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.” – Dave Barry
63. "Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there." — Josh Billings
64. "Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say." – Andy Stanley
Funny Workplace Quotes That Will Inspire Chuckles
65. "Many of life’s failures are experienced by people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up." — Thomas Edison
66. "Education cost money. But then again so does ignorance." – Sir Claus Moser
67. "Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you didn’t have a plan." – Larry Winget
68. "Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the real greats make you feel that you, too, can be great." – Mark Twain
69. "If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work." — Woody Allen
70. "Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife." — Groucho Marx
71. "One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important." — Bertrand Russell
72. "Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid." – Phil Pastoret
73. "I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying. —Rita Rudner
74. "Like vinegar to the teeth, and smoke to the eyes, so are the lazy to their employers." – Proverb 10:26
75. "A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure." — Henry Kissinger
76. "I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early." — Charles Lamb
77. "Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard." — Tim Notke
78. "The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary." — Vince Lombardi
79. "Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep." – Scott Adams
80. "An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault." — William Castle
81. "What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day." – Phyllis Diller
82. “Work is against human nature. The proof is that it makes us tired. — Michel Tournier
83. "Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant." – Scott Adams
84. "Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done." – Sam Ewing
85. "My son is now an 'entrepreneur.' That's what you're called when you don't have a job." – Ted Turner
86. "Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we'd be here every freakin' day." — Ed Bernard
87. "Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow." — Don Herold
Daily Funny Work Quotes to Boost Team Morale
88. "If at first, you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you." – Steven Wright
89. "The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs... one step at a time." — Joe Girard
90. "Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all." —Sam Ewing
91. "By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day." — Robert Frost
92. "People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up." —Ogden Nash
93. "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." —Douglas Adams
94. "The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it." —Franklin P. Jones
95. "The only thing I gain from work is weight." — Anonymous
96. "I'm not lazy. I'm on energy-saving mode." — Anonymous
97. "Work would be so much fun without bosses, clients, and co-workers." — Anonymous
98. "My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home." — Anonymous
99. "I pretend to do my regular duties. They pretend to pay me." — Anonymous
100. "I'm not bossy, I just have better ideas." — Anonymous
101. "I'm not saying I hate my job, but if a zombie apocalypse broke out, I'd grab a snack and watch the show." — Anonymous
102. "I'm not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them." — Anonymous
103. "Successful people don't hit the 'Snooze' button; they tackle life with a 'Snooze' button-proof mindset!" — Unknown
104. “Work would be so much more fun if we could all have a mandatory 'Bring Your Pet Dinosaur to the Office' day!" — Anonymous
105. "Lazy man's work motto: 'Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow...or the day after...or maybe never?' — Unknown
Conclusion
Behold! We present to you a collection of funny work quotes that are bound to elicit hearty laughter and secure a well-deserved spot on your cubicle wall. Whether you hold the esteemed position of a manager aspiring to boost team enthusiasm or find yourself as an employee battling stress, seize the opportunity to share these funny and inspirational quotes with your colleagues or adorn your desk with a humorous reminder.
ALSO READ: 93 Inspiring Appreciation Quotes for Employees to Boost Morale
