Tips to deal with a pushy mother-in-law before your wedding
If you find that your mother-in-law is hard to please, pushy, or keen to criticise you, then read on. Here are a few ways you can remedy the situation without hurting their feelings.
Stepping into a new home and a new family means you’re probably doing everything you can to ingratiate yourselves to them. Be it flaunting your best manners, dressing to please them or even whipping up a dish or two of their liking to display your culinary prowess. But if it all seems to go to vain and you find that your mother-in-law is hard to please, pushy, or keen to criticise you, then read on. Here are a few ways you can remedy the situation without hurting their feelings.
- Have a heart to heart talk with her
Plan a coffee date with your mother-in-law where you can have an open discussion with her. Feel free to voice your opinion by first stating that you understand that your beau is her baby and she may find it hard to welcome you as his partner in the transition. Politely ask her not to advise you on how you could be doing everything better if you did it her way. Chances are, she will relent.
- Ask your husband-to-be to set the boundaries
Your mother-in-law may not appreciate what she sees as criticism coming from you. But she is far more likely to take it well when it comes from her own child. Just as it is easier for you to explain certain things to your parents, your hubby-to-be may find it easier to set boundaries when it comes to your personal space. So, ask him to step in and voice your concerns. Be it excessive advice from your in-laws or their demand that you seek their permission before every life decision; your groom-to-be can help them scale back on their pushy behavior without hurting their feelings.
- Stand up for yourself
You may find that you’re a decent cook, but your mom-in-law insists you learn the correct way to make dal or paneer just as she does. Or perhaps it is the way you fold your towels or hang the clothes from the laundry out to dry that you must do their way, try standing up for yourself. Speak up and say that your way is perfectly acceptable, for it is likely that she doesn’t know she is being annoying. Perhaps it was her own MIL who treated her that way.
But things can change for the better over time, so you can take the first step by speaking up!