My experience with racism in India and USA

My experience with racism in India and USA 0

This is w.r.t this post calling Americans racist.

I wanted to share with you my experiences on racism.
Let me introduce myself. I am Ms X , born and grew up in central cindia. I moved to the States when i was 20. I am 26 today. I was born dark skinned. This could be the story of any indian girl.

From the day i was born, my mom tried different oils, lotions to change my skin color. Everyone ridiculed my mom for giving birth to a dark girl. Everyone told her it would be difficult to find a groom for her as she is very dark. This would trouble my mom and she tried everything to change my skin color.

I was born intelligent. I topped most of the competitions at school. I was a good orator. When i was in my 4th grade, my teacher told me she could not give me the role of cinderalla for our school day function as i was dark and they wanted a fair skinned girl. They chose a fair cinderalla over me who could not even deliver her lines. I went home heartbroken. The next year i was chosen for a dance performance for a school show. One of the teachers asked me to not stand in the front row as i was dark and they wanted pretty girls in the front. I was asked to move back. Imagine what a 5th grader would have gone through. Anyways as i turned into a teenager, my confidence was at rock bottom. I was dark you see. That is like almost the end of the world you see. I tried all sorts of things only to realize nothing in this world can change your skin color. I kind of got used to people calling me dark.

At 20 i got admission at a very prestigious university in US for higher studies. I landed here. Out in US, not one single day was i told i was dark. Everyone around me were so appreciative of my other skills apart from my skin color. I met a very handsome guy whom i started dating. My confidence slowly built up thanks to this guy . I am soon going to marry him. In US I was never told a single day by anyone that i was dark. Infact a white girls came to me and once complimented me for my healthy skin. I am not making this up BTW.

The reason i wrote this was because i saw so many comments here saying Americans are racist. Hell no. We Indians are the most racist people in the world, we dont realize it. In US there are laws against racism. In India there is not one single law that will protect a dark skinned girl from being ridiculed. It is just accepted as being OK to say you are dark.

So people before you comment saying she is dark and ugly- think of what you will be doing to the 100s of girls in india who are dark skinned. You will be shattering their egos, bruising their self confidence and they will be scarred for life.

Today I work as a developer at google . I consider myself beautiful and am very confident. It took me years to realize that self-confidence comes from within.


Anonymous's picture

WOW amazing story but have to say as an american racism does still exists, it actually exists in some form all over the world but more harsh in some countries then others. & wow I had no idea india had racism problem.

Anonymous's picture

Thank you dark'n'lovely for your honest and insightful post. I agree with you 100 %. And let me add: Afghans people are worse in terms of judging the appearance of their peers if not the worst judgmental folks. These issues come all down to having no identity of your own and a valid self esteem. These white obsessed people have a chip on their shoulder and are too blind and uncreative to see beauty in everything. They will do anything and deny themselves just to belong and become as white and accepted by the whites. What they don't realize is that the white folks/Europeans/white Americans don't care and don't judge beauty as much by skin color only. White obsessed folks are often very tacky and OTT (life experience based on encounters through the globe). I am happy that you've found your bliss and shared your transformation from being self conscious and insecure to a grown and confident happy woman.

Anonymous's picture

this is so true. People are more racists to their own people but the moment someone outside your race does it, it becomes an international issue. I absolutely agree with you. By the way congratulations on your success and good luck.

Anonymous's picture

wonderful !! :)

let's hope all children of all shapes, sizes and color accept themselves too, no matter what society classifies them as.

Anonymous's picture

I know the feeling of your mother as my daughter is not fair skinned as well. Just like you mentioned my daughter is a darling who tops in every exams and is such a responsible child...... . But I have noticed even my mother who by the way is not so fair is racistic towards her. Somehow for my mother, since she gave birth to fair kids makes it okay to do that....
I love my mom but i also know how my child feels and it breaks my heart. Reading this article makes me so hopeful that one day she would also feel on top of the world ,,,and rightfully so....

Anonymous's picture

Totally agree with you...I'm not indian but light skinned in which most indians are obsessed with my colorings...I had a conversation with some who are toally awe with Katrina Kaif more than Bipasha because of her light complexion and accent...I mentioned that Bipasha is prettier and dances pretty well, but was told that she is dark skinned and it does not matter. To me, it's a matter of insecurity and hyprocrisy. My humble sympathy to you and glad you're proud of what you've become, beauty is the eyes of the beholder, and it's about integrity, positivity and happiness.

Anonymous's picture

wow so poud ov u being a developer@Google:
BTW the same thing happened to me,
i was the one who was made fun of, ppl didnt like sitting with me at school etc etc,
but I came to USA, when i was 17, thanks to USA, that I developed my confidence and a change in my overall personality, BTW i wasnt dark skinned but wheatish (thats considered dark in North INDIA) i was always looked down upon, so when i came to USA, I started grooming my self better, and people do say (who didnt wnated to sit beside me) that I have changed and want to be friends with me(ah! hypocrits).
Now i am an engineer at Microsoft and satisfied with my life! and to my surprise the gals who used to think that they are supermodels have gained weight n etc etc etc
Oh well! I wish u all d best and I do feel d pain!

Anonymous's picture

thank you for attempting to bell the cat.
i faced the same.. from my mom and grndmom.
To add to that, it affected me psycologically , that I started bed-wetting. It stopped few years before I went to boarding school, since I was away from my mental-hospital called home.
I was a class topper.. but this was my state at home. My brother was the king of the castle, but today after his marriage, he hasnt visited india or asked my parents to visit him. .. even though he is married for 10 yrs.

I am in my early 30s, but I wont go back to india and home. Infact I couldnt get myself to marry anyone , since I am not really good.
I dont know if I will ever be a "normal" girl .. I think we need to do our duties as a daughter irrespective of what life gives us, and that is what I am doing.

Anonymous's picture

Thank You..i lived in india n speak perfect hindi but since i'm not indian they think i cant understand or speak so I heard worst of worst comments made to all other race that is small eyes asian, goris being cheap etc. funny they even make racist comment to north east indians wow..it blew my mind. Yes racism are everywhere but since there is no such thing as Law against it in some country it doesn't make such noise as it doesi n USA. Once i was at Singapore airport and i heard group of adult indian talking in hindi making racist comments. i would have reported it to the person to whom they were commenting on but i had terrible Motion/travel sickness so i just there sleeping while i keep hearing all these comments. God Bless USA, jAI hIND BUT PEOPLE NEED TO GROW UP

Anonymous's picture

Wow that was an amazing post !!Loved it !!

Afrada.

darknlovely's picture

wow so many people have faced the same issue, i hope everyone finds their own place in the world. To anon i work as a developer in google in sfo.

to the mom - please please tell ur daughter everyday how beautiful she is no matter what others say to her. coming from a mom that will be a lot and will help her build a strong self.

Anonymous's picture

so what about your mom now? does she realize what how she treated you as a kid was wrong.....

Anonymous's picture

This is funny because I am fair skinned and got made fun of in school a lot. I think people are just rude and jealous of what they dont have, in your case your brains and smartness.

Anonymous's picture

This is funny because I am fair skinned and got made fun of in school a lot. I think people are just rude and jealous of what they dont have, in your case your brains and smartness.

Anonymous's picture

I grew up abroad in canada I have heard how cruel some kids can be, they call all dark skinned people tamil, and I have been called a hairy indian before. Its not so perfect around here either. but yes, its less than india I would say.

Anonymous's picture

good for you! and you can be an inspiration for so many.

imagine if India had overcome its color barriers like America has (although there are still pockets of issues). Imagine how different your time would have been. but don't worry, India will have its own color revolution where people will accept each other and let go of barriers...

this 'color barrier', it's the worst thing .. i have heard the case of two sisters.. both almost exactly similar face shapes, but the younger one just being a few shades lighter;; the elder being too dark for comfort. all the family would taunt the two growing up.. that the younger would have such an easy time getting married, etc. etc.. needless to say, despite having almost exactly the same fact shape and height, the younger one, due to her confidence skyrocketed: she made friends in school easier, had brothers and friends do her homework for her... was the teacher's pet and made important friends;; and is known to be very arrogant of her looks. she ended up cliimbing the corporate ladder to the very strong self esteem she has. the older is humble and follows the younger sister around, despite having a very very high iq, as if her extra melanin is a crime. she is so lovely, but her self-image is so damaged, she never believes it...

i feel very very very bad for children who think they are doing some right or wrong, simply based on the # of melanin they are born with. when you have self-acceptance, you will love the world. that's why it's important that each of us try to honor each other's inner beauty, as well as appreciate that our outer forms are all different and unique, each lovely in different ways. this is not to say that dark is good and fair is bad or vice versa, each color has its own beauty.. this is only to say that we are all unique creatures and we should never define ourselves by society's limited views-- if someone tries to limit. let's set each all free to be all that we can be. :)

Anonymous's picture

good article. I'm from a state in the North East of India and have lived in Delhi for almost 20 years. I cannot begin to tell you just how many racist comments i've heard. People think some of us exaggerate it but i know exactly how it felt when i had to live with it every single day. My sister lives in London now. She said not once did she get teased in any way there but one day when in an Indian grocery store she heard someone say 'ching chong'...she was shocked! guess what? turned out to be an Indian man..! Not only do people pass racist comments they also cast aspirations on the character of girls from my region. The ignorance of Indians about their own country ceases to amaze me till this day! Forget the states in the North east of India, they don't even know what countries are not part of India!!

I wonder how many people know that the word 'chinky' 'chink' is the same as the 'N' word for black people. and is considered racist..?

true encounter with the dumb kind-
ignoramus- 'are you from Nepal?'
me- 'No i'm from India'
super ignoramus- 'yeah but from Nepal right?'

Anonymous's picture

Indians love to point a finger at other countries and say how racist they are but as an Indian i know exactly how racist Indians are themselves! They have a derogatory term for people belonging to different regions. All south Indians are 'madrasis' and dark. All people from the North East are 'chinkys' 'chinks' and the girls loose characters. The men belonging to the Sikh community are 'joodis'.....and it goes on and on. Why, even people who're African American or belong to African countries are called 'kaalu' 'haapshi' here. And some of those calling them these names are themselves a just few shades lighter than those they're making fun of!

Indians don't realise the true meaning of India. India 'is' it's diversity in terms of languages, landscape, cuisine, clothing and looks. Indians from different parts of the country could look like they're from any part of the world! If only the Indians celebrated this diversity instead of making fun of those who're different from them!

Anonymous's picture

Amazing really happy for you that you pulled through & now a successful strong women all the best to you & all the ladies struggling though this more power to you.

Anonymous's picture

2010-07-19 19:54 — Anonymous ... I think people are just rude and jealous of what they dont have, in your case your brains and smartness. "

--> to pin her issues down to 'they were just jealous' .. maybe, maybe not. to deny some color issues there is to not move forward. they were obviously not able to see her nature-given beauty... because each society has a limit-filter on what it considers great, normal, bad. if we let go of these filters, we can be free to be ourselves and not limit each other.

Anonymous's picture

i was born in america...live and grew up in america...and i have never seen racism in my eyes. Not against anyone and not against me. I kno u may think i am unrealistic or lying but im not. i have a huge family and they have never been racially outcast. And that is a big deal for me... ;) I have never been to India, but i hope for them that they surpass this.

Anonymous's picture

im sorry but this story sounds soo fake

iLazz's picture

Really really happy for you!

I'm from Singapore and staying with Chinese and Malays....most Dark Indians falls into racist attack. Hey classify Indians as hairy, smelly(due to coconut hair oil), dirty and simply too dark. Fortunately, I wasn't too dark. i was considered fair and has olive undertone. But, my friends weren't that lucky.

From birth, parents and in-laws do not care if they have a baby girl or boy but what they want to know it if the baby was fair or not! I had this dark friend. Her parents was finding for her groom and trust me they really had a hard time as many guys do not want dark girls. It took her 3 yrs to find her a groom but then one Indian national married her so that he can be a Singaporean!! But then, the main reason is to be a SG citizen not because of her inner beauty.

In Schools, several of the Chinese students insult and humiliate Indians due to their skin tone. I really had enough of these racist people. Due to this racist remarks, many of the Indians here to dont want Indians as their soul mate and would marry a Chinese instead so their kids will be fair and will not suffer the same fate they had! This is really heart-wreaking! When I go back to my native, (INDIA) esp on weddings they will criticize the bride if she is dark! WTH!! Why wouldn't people see that dark isn't contiguous or something we should frown upon?

Guys please wake up!

Anonymous's picture

This could be my story....Totally agree that we Indians are the most racist and the biggest hypocrites.

Anonymous's picture

Americans r not racist..this is the most beautiful n free place to live

Anonymous's picture

racists come from all races, it's in our blood.

Anonymous's picture

I am a dark skinned Indian male. I have spent some time in Canada. In India, people always assumed I was the courier guy, or peon or some other profile which they automatically take for 'lowly'. People in India do not know about fairness. It's not about skin color, it's about what you have within. And it's not about your profession either, Indians need to learn how to respect a person for what they do as well as what they are.

In Canada, my boss never failed to wish the janitor "Good Morning". In India, if a boss speaks with a subordinate nicely, the subordinate stops respecting the boss. WTF!!!

There are many things which reek of hypocrisy. In India, if you are rich and not famous, you NEED to be fat and rude so people know you are a "heavyweight". WTF!!!!!

Anonymous's picture

I thinks its alot of nri indians that marry out of their race because they think they are too cool to marry indians. men usually go for chinese or white or russian etc, girls usually white men. but i have heard some horror stories in punjab and villages where they treat daughters like total garbage, so its not wonder people are running away from this. the worst when these people with dirty mentalities come abroad, oh god! they bring their dirty views over here too (america). its not only embarassing for other indians, but we dont want to hear that crap over here.

Anonymous's picture

I completely agree with you - Indian people are the most racist pricks alive; yet, they pick on everyone else and deem them racist. I just don't understand.

Anonymous's picture

Then take brown skin girls like Aishwarya to America and send us really beautiful white girls like Katrina to India. That way, all will be happy! :D

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